


The Love Witch

by azulalord



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Japanese Mythology - Freeform, Lies, Love Triangle, Magic, Manipulative OC, Marauders, Moony - Freeform, Padfoot - Freeform, Prongs - Freeform, Ravenclaw, Rivals to Lovers, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slytherin, Werewolves, curse, himbo sirius black, japanese lore, slight AU, spells
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25456402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azulalord/pseuds/azulalord
Summary: Meisa Gōrudo kept her hands clean. Though her dainty fingers twitched ever so slightly whenever a teasing from the Malfoy boy ensued— despite this, her hands remained enclosed within the confines of the gloves she didn't dare take off.Though skin was warmer than silk, and her cursed palms twitched to feel the warm embrace of another— though, her first test subject, a lanky wizard boy, appeared to be immune to the curse which plagued her since birth. Her attention begins to shift towards him... and his charming friend; who shared his namesake with the brightest star in the night's sky.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character, Sirius Black/Original Female Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	1. ōne

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Wattpad on my now deleted account @ missandeis.

Act 1 "How could you hate someone for loving you?"

☼

“Love is not devotion.”

* * *

second year | 1972

Meisa Gōrudo couldn't help but feel the nervous sensation in the pit of her stomach— everything on the train felt foreign. She could hear the voices of other children bounce across the aisles as she walked and clutched her heavy suitcase. Common pets such as owls and cats flew and curled around her legs as she cautiously took her steps. She roamed the busy train searching for a compartment to sit in— preferably an empty one. But like always, luck wasn't on her side. 

She hesitantly brushed her gloved hand across the shut doors of compartments she passed, hoping she'd come across one with an open door but sighed as she realized that everyone had made or already had friends to sit with. She clenched her other hand then, gripping her suitcase tighter; it was her father's fault she reasoned.  He  was the one who convinced her mother she needed to stay home an extra year before joining the school.  He  always doubted her, she could feel his dark eyes now, assessing her as if she were a specimen and not the daughter he should've raised. She sighed then, escaping her thoughts and attempted to focus on her  present dilemma.  Surely a train made for magical children had to have some space? 

This pattern of feeling the texture of the compartments through her gloves continued for a few minutes before her thoughts came to a stop as the fingers she dragged felt only air. She turned her head to be met with a peculiar sight. Four boys filled the tiny compartment, one of whom had restrained a shorter boy as another cackled, attempting to shove what looked to be— jellybeans?  Into the retrained boy's pleading mouth. The fourth boy gave no attention to the others as he seemed to be in his own thoughts with his head leaned back and his fingers gently tapping his fingers onto his thigh.

Meisa let out a forced chuckle at their odd behaviour, hoping to capture their attention— to which it did. The soft sound caused all four boys to freeze and stare at the girl. The only boy who didn't look embarrassed by the situation was the one with lengthy dark hair, he instead provided a casual smile. 

"We can explain," said the boy with round rimmed glasses. "You see, our friend Peter here, lost a bet and is hesitant to eat  Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.  So to assist him in making sure he keeps his part of the bargain, we're feeding him personally." 

"Yeah, in a way we're only doing what the lad's mother would do," replied the one with the longish hair. 

This caused the restrained boy to spit out the chunks of candy (much to Meisa's irritation)  from his mouth and glare at the other. "Sirius, I would've won if you hadn't cheated!" He responded before removing himself from the third boy's arms and brushing himself off. 

"Me? Cheat? I won fair and square Pettigrew, James watched. There's no way I could've cheated with Potter's keen eye on me." He then threw a sly wink towards the boy in the round glasses— now known to Meisa to be  James.

"I'm sorry that you stumbled on such an odd sight," the fourth boy with curly hair began. "I'm Remus Lupin, these three idiots are James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. I can't say they're usually not this strange but that would be a lie." He continued with an exaggerated eye roll towards the other three. Meisa held back an eye roll of her own at his introduction, he held an air of pretentiousness in the way he overshared— call her rude, but Meisa preferred simplicity and didn't care for useless facts. 

"It's okay..." Meisa cursed herself for sounding so quiet— she hadn't spoken since she left her house that morning. "I'm Meisa Gōrudo." She paused, expecting to hear the usual snicker at her name but thankfully heard none— though she did note it was common for wizards to carry names deemed 'untraditionally British' by muggle standards. "I'm a second year and I didn't mean to walk in on your—" she paused unsure of how to continue, and instead waved her gloved hand over the mess on the floor, "I was hoping to find a compartment, but so far everything seems to be full." 

"We're all second years too. You can sit here with us!" Spoke James. His sudden enthusiasm didn't sit well with her, as she wasn't used to random acts of kindness from people she knew, let alone strangers.

Meisa hesitated as she fidgeted her fingers against the strap of her suitcase. "But there's already four—" She started before being interrupted by Peter. 

"We can always just get rid of Potter," his bitter words caused James to whack him upside the head. "Ow! Or I suppose one of us could just take the floor or something..." 

"Meisa can just take Peter's lap, since he obviously wants to be so nice," laughed Sirius causing Meisa to be momentarily stunned by his invasive suggestion. She looked down at her pink glove and noticed a twitch in her thumb— she didn't act on it. Though, much to her relief the other boys didn't seem to condone his perversion as they all sent him disgusted looks. 

"So it's settled then!" Chirped up Remus. "Sirius takes the floor," he continued, causing Sirius to sharply turn to Remus.

"I will not!" He barked. 

☼

Meisa wasn't sure how much time had passed since Sirius sat on the floor grumbling irritably. The boy was now asleep, and so was James who sat right next to her with his head pressed against the window. She peaked a bit of drool sliding down the glass and figured the other boys wouldn't let him live it down once they discovered it. Peter sat across James with his head slumped back on his chair, she could hear his light snores. 

Directly across from her was Remus. She wasn't sure on whether he was asleep or had just simply closed his eyes to rest. There hadn't been that much talking with her as she found herself unsure of how to feel about each boy; so far she found them all rather annoying in their own way, though she could admit Remus wasn't so bad in comparison to the others. Despite this revelation, the most that happened was everyone taking turns putting on their robes in privacy. 

In her boredom she took the time to fully analyze Remus' features, for no reason other than the fact he sat directly across from her. She had assumed his face was as smooth as the others but as she took a better look she could see faint scars tracing his skin. She grew curious by this, but before she could get a better look he opened his dark eyes. 

Skillfully, she turned her gaze to the window so no awkward line of questioning would ensue into whether or not she had been staring at him. Luckily, no inquiries were met as he also turned his eyes to the window. She expected him to begin conversing, but he remained silent— for some reason this irked her.

"I'm surprised none of you asked why it is that I'm a second year with no house colours branding my robes," she started— though with subtle irritation as she hated being the one to start conversations. She preferred to be in positions where she didn't need approval, despite the fact that she craved it. 

"Oh," was all he replied. "I hadn't noticed," though despite his words, the amused look in his eye told another story. 

"I didn't attend Hogwarts my first year due to my parents' travelling," this was a lie of course, much to her agitation she realized it didn't make much sense because Hogwarts was a boarding school, but it was too late to take it back now. "I suppose they didn't like the idea of me alone all year while they were seeing the world. I'm lucky Dumbledore allowed me to enter as a second year, however, as they personally went over first year concepts with me already." The last part had been true.

"Yes," he paused. "I suppose it would've been rather redundant for you if otherwise, also if I'm honest, the first years seem to get more annoying as the years go by."

She furrowed her brow at this, "but you're only a second year, are you not?" 

"Self-awareness doesn't hurt anyone," he mused. 

She let out a genuine laugh at his words. "So, you're all Gryffindors then? I did a few readings on Hogwarts so I recognize the colours." 

"Readings?" Another voice suddenly spoke. "Why in Merlin's name would anybody... Nevermind, obviously you're a Ravenclaw," scoffed Sirius. Despite opening his mouth to speak, he remained sprawled across the floor, his head resting on his arm. 

"Ah," sighed Remus. "I was beginning to enjoy the sound of your snoring too." Ignoring his words, Sirius only turned to face Meisa's direction, now resting his face onto his palm, elbow holding himself up.

"You best hope you're a Gryffindor— the other houses don't matter much if I'm being honest. I think one's even called jigglypuff—"

"Hufflepuff, Sirius."

"Yeah, whatever," he rolled his eyes at Remus' intrusion. "Ravenclaws are boring, and Slytherins are all pure blood snobs." Blood purity has never been a concern for Meisa— her father was a muggle, while her mother a witch, so naturally she kept herself out of the debate. 

"Don't forget inbred too," James suddenly piped up from beside her. The sudden straightening of her back visibly startled her, and he sent a sheepish grin her way in apology. "And Sirius is probably related to all of them."

This revelation was startling to Meisa. His surname was  Black , but she didn't think to correlate it to the  Black family; they were notorious for their blood status. He didn't seem to be the type, so she pegged him to be the  black  sheep of the family. 

"Not  all of them," Sirius hissed though James seemed unimpressed. "Okay... I honestly don't know which families are related to me or not, and that's honestly why I avoid Slytherin girls; I'd rather my first date  not  be a family reunion."

James howled in laughter at this which caused Peter to awaken with a snort leading the others to join in as well. Once the laughter died down, Sirius then took the moment to turn his attention to Meisa.

"You must think we're bonkers," he said with a mischievous look in his dark eyes. 

"No, though I hope not all Gryffindors are as loud a bunch."

"You wouldn't have to worry if you become a jigglypuff," said Peter was he attempted to hide his grin.

"You sly rat!" Sirius seethed. "Were you pretending to be asleep? What are you? A pervert, that's what!" 

Their bickering continued for the rest of the ride varying from topic to topic, and Meisa found herself sharing a thought or two— though usually in spite of Sirius who'd grown to be a thorn in her side. 

Though, the ride had to end eventually.


	2. twō

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: idk a Liza crouch its a made up character .. Mary macdonald is real but I don't know if she was a slytherin.. i changed birth years and shit bc I hate making up outside ocs.. so Narcissa is in the same year and Lucius is the year above, rather than waaay older bc I want him to still be in the story by 6th year whoops.. also one more chapter until we time jump .. Also i think 5 ppl are supposed to be in a room and it's not in bunks but honestly fuck off pls bunks r cool

The young witch was mildly annoyed on the train, but now in the grand hall she was downright pissed. After explaining her situation to their guide, a young giant by the name of Hagrid, he had her standing with the first year students in order to be sorted. Prior to this predicament, she assumed that due to her second year status that she'd conduct her ceremony in private— which would've been less embarrassing. Despite the fact that there were several first years awaiting their sorting, she knew that she stood out like a sore thumb because of the fact that her name would be called last. Traditionally, the hat called out in alphabetical order, but since her father chose the untraditional method of holding her back she would have to wait until the finale. 

So she stood silently amongst the giggling first years who hoped to be sorted with the friends they'd made, and she waited and waited until the strange woman wielding the bloody talking hat, and gigantic scroll decided to call her up. 

"Gōrudo, Meisa," was finally said, and to her lack of surprise, came the expected hushed whispers from students. She could make out faint questions such as 'If it's a G then why is she last?' and 'you don't suppose she speaks any English?' She couldn't help but scoff at that last one, she was born and raised in London— of course she knew English. Though she didn't address the speculation. 

Instead, she turned to walk to the stage-like area. The staff all stared with a mix of smiles and blank expressions— it was likely to her that all of them had better places to be than here. Nonetheless, she continued to walk towards the small chair to which a young woman, Professor McGonagall, stood next to, clutching the shabby old hat. Meisa found herself incredibly self aware to how loud the sounds of her footsteps were in regards to the silence of the students. It was just her luck to be one of the only Asian students within the masses. Perhaps their silence was out of respect, and not curiousity; though her pessimism disagreed. 

Carefully, she sat down on the chair (she couldn't help but note how uncomfortably warm it was) and awaited for the eagle eyed Professor to set it on her head. Gently the older witch placed it down, and she prayed to Merlin that the old leather wasn't carrying lice. 

"Me? Carrying lice?" It asked, and suddenly she was all too aware of the fact that it was in her head— and also very loud, as several of those seated in the first rows snickered at its offended comment. She realized then just how dangerous such an object was; it had unlimited access and knowledge of perhaps every student who'd ever set foot in Hogwarts."Very well... Ah, watch those hands—" she hadn't even realized her fingers had been twitching under her pink silk gloves, "— Loyal? Perhaps only to yourself... But maybe if under the right circumstances... No, certainly not. There's something brewing in you, and it's stirring up good... There's one house I know that can train potential such as this, it best be..." 

"... SLYTHERIN!"

She felt as if the cheers from the table were reluctant. The moment the hat left her crown, she felt as if her legs had turned to jelly. She stood up, and at a set pace she walked towards the serpent's table and noticed subtle assessing looks from the older students. 

"Blood status," a blonde boy stated rather than questioned. Rather than answer, she took her time getting seated; which happened to be across from him at the table, and looked directly into his cold grey eyes. She realized now that Sirius wasn't exaggerating before when he called out Slytherin's ideals with blood status. 

She knew better than to lie to him— after all, only a fool would fib about something so easy for a person to determine, and to a slightly lesser extent; she hated those filled with prejudice. "Half-blood," she said. She had no reason to attempt to please a boy who asked intruding questions before even bothering to introduce himself.

"Halflings..." he murmured faintly before trailing off, "they're more disgusting than mudbloods, aren't they Severus?" He turned then to the greasy haired boy next to him, and shared a cocky smile as if there was a hidden joke to his words. 

"Yes," Severus replied— as if forced, "they are Lucius." A few others at the table laughed, but Severus only allowed a faint smile to grace his thin lips. 

"It sure beats having to marry your own cousin," Meisa said surprising even herself; perhaps Sirius had left a bigger impression on her than she initially thought.

There were a few laughs from a couple of first years, but other than that the table remained silent as Lucius' cheeks turned a beet red colour and his beady eyes narrowed.

"You filthy little—" 

"Lay off, Malfoy," another boy spoke up, she noticed a 'prefect' badge pinned to his robes. "She's just a first year." 

"Thank you," she said, "but I'm a second year; I'm just new." Before any further questions could be thrown her way, Dumbledore announced the feast to be ready, and so Lucius kept his mouth shut in regards to her.

A few curious looks were sent her way from those who noticed her gloves remained on, but after that no one disturbed her during her meal— it seemed her little show with the Malfoy son isolated her from the other slytherins who wanted to be in his good graces. 

She didn't mind. She discovered he was a third year, so she assumed she wouldn't be seeing much of him anyways. 

☼

Her feet were tired by the time she laid in her bed. To calm her nerves, she ran her fingers through her silky hair, welcoming the heat from her scalp. Her pale red nightgown was now on, and her gloves tucked into the drawer next to her bunkbed. She closed her eyes for a few moments before opening them again slowly. 

Hushed voices reached her ears as the three other Slytherin girls in her dormitory conversed excitedly. She assumed she was stuck with an already established friend group— much to her annoyance. 

"Oh!" Spoke the blonde girl seated on the bed across from her. "I forgot you were here," she said. Meisa only sat up and smiled gently, glad the other girl spoke up first. 

"I'm Narcissa Black," she said. Another Black, (they seemed to be attending this school in hoards at this point). 

"Soon to be Malfoy!" another girl laughed, causing Narcissa's pale cheeks to turn a dark red— apparent even in the dim lighting of the room. The interjection caused her to wrinkle her nose however, as she assumed they must've been present to hear her small altercation with Lucius. 

"Meisa Gōrudo," was all she said.

"I'm Mary MacDonald," chirped a voice overhead. From above her bunk, an upside down head appeared and flashed a smile towards Meisa. She stayed like that a few moments with her reddish hair hanging down like a curtain, until she flipped back up again. 

"Liza Crouch," spoke the third girl almost reluctantly. "You're the half-blood who pissed off Lucius, aren't you?" 

Narrowing her eyes at the girl's blunt tone, she replied simply, "yes that would be me." The other girl only scoffed in return. Meisa could see only the tight lipped grin (or more like a wince) on Narcissa's face. 

"Anyways," Narcissa said. "We were just discussing my sister, Bellatrix's, wedding this past summer. It was absolutely stunning. I want mine to be better though." There was a melancholic sigh as she spoke, as if she was unsure of her own words. Meisa took note of this. 

"Isn't it a bit too soon to be thinking of marriage?"

The other girls only snickered as Narcissa allowed a frustrated look to dance across her dainty features. "I'm practically engaged to Lucius, thinking ahead has never hurt anyone. We Blacks marry early; it's simply tradition." 

"Tradition is important," she replied cautiously— she didn't feel the need to please the girls, but she also didn't want to make enemies out of the people she'd be sleeping in the same space as for whoever knows how long. 

"Yes," she agreed with a peaceful smile. "Though, I admit I am nervous the Malfoy's might take back their proposal..." The sudden confession confused her, (why admit something so personal to a stranger?), she painted the Black girl as naive in her mind— sheltered, and likely led a life of privilege and prestige. Or the girl simply didn't care that Meisa knew of her insecurities— her word against a simple half-blood; a basic underestimation. 

"Why would they do that?" Usually she wouldn't care to ponder, but the silence had grown awkward, and simply ignoring the girl's insecurity would reflect badly on her.

"My ex-cousin," she sighed. "He's a filthy blood traitor, and he's taunting the family name— a Gryffindor; can you imagine how embarrassing that is? He dragged his stupid friends to my sister's wedding; one of them was a half-blood— and none of them even wore proper attire! Can you believe his audacity?"

Knowing Sirius for the brief amount of time that she did, she could believe. "This cousin of yours," she began unsure of whether or not she really needed the confirmation, "is named Sirius, correct?" 

The roll of Narcissa's eyes confirmed it enough. Though before she could say anything, the Crouch girl jumped off her bed and took a few steps forward to face Meisa with her hands on her hips and a glare resting on her face. 

"Don't act brand new now," she said. "I saw you on the train with that lot, all cozy wasn't it? Don't suppose they'll wanna be your friend now that you're a Slytherin." 

Meisa only sent a glare back, annoyed by the girl's attitude. "I couldn't find a compartment to sit in, and they offered," she reasoned. "Besides, aren't these houses only ever really significant when it comes to quidditch games and competitions?" Her words seemed to bring a further anger to the Crouch girl who shoved her finger into her shoulder by the pit of her arm. 

"Don't touch me," Meisa stated with a cold glare. The girl only grinned wickedly and further dug her finger in, as if intending to leave a bruise behind. 

"Liza," Narcissa spoke up. "Don't waste your time on her," she said. Meisa heard something in her tone, perhaps mild amusement— it was apparent to Meisa this behaviour from Liza was a commonality; she was a bully, they both were. 

"Yeah," she said. Carefully she brought her hand up to yank her arm away, but she paused as her bare fingers were finally visible before her— her gloves were off, she had nearly forgotten since she'd grown so used to them. Despite this subtle hesitation, she continued to slowly bring her hand up, and wrapped it around the Crouch girl's wrist. She looked up into her steel blue eyes and noticed them mellow slowly, and the digging into her flesh stilled and grew gentle. Her next words would have to be subtle— after all, too big of a command would leave the other girls curious to the sudden change in Liza's character. 

"Don't waste your time on me," she told her with a hint of faux inferiority lacing her tone. "We can just go back to talking; I can tell we're both tired anyways." 

She let go of her wrist then, and the Crouch girl backed off— there was a slight stutter in her steps, but no one but Meisa paid that much attention. 

"Yeah," Liza said. "Whatever, I'm actually rather sleepy now. Can I shut the lights?" She turned her gaze to Narcissa, as if asking for permission, (but Meisa knew who was really in charge).

Narcissa's lip quivered a bit, as if she were puzzled by the change. Though, she nodded simply, and Liza followed, but by the time she reached back to step back onto the ladder of the bed— she faltered a bit in her steps, but once again only Meisa felt this shift.

(But perhaps soon they all would).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls kudos and comment, i-i need to feed my family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparks fly... literally when you’re taking Charms 101.

She was thoroughly unsure of how a school with moving halls and staircases ever expected its students to reach classes on time. Hence why she left breakfast an extra ten minutes early in order to figure out where to go. She would've tried following one of her bunk mates, but they'd told her they all had different schedules— which she didn't buy considering the fact that Charms was a mandatory elective for all second year students.

After navigating the halls for some time, she found herself walking into the right classroom (though notably a bit earlier than anticipated due to her extra precautions). The room was barren aside from the large desks; two columns by four rows with four seats per table. She chose a seat at the left side opposite the door, in the second row so that she could be close enough to see the teacher, but far enough so that they didn't necessarily need to see her.

Patiently, she waited for other students to join and surely several came in, huddled in little groups. She noticed only Slytherins and Gryffindors present however, and assumed the class was blended that way. She wasn't surprised to see Narcissa and Liza make their way in, giggling as they spotted her, and sat opposite to her in the back of the room.

Annoyed, she decided to distract herself by leaning down to her backpack to pull out her textbook, but hissed in pain at her wand digging into her ribcage. Carefully, she readjusted the tool so that it stuck out of her robe's pocket, and bent down once again to pick up her used copy of The Standard Book of Spells. With a sigh she placed the book on the table before her and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. 

She directed her eyes to the front and noticed a short pudgy man with a head full of curly grey hair had entered and stood behind the teacher's desk. He kept his arms behind his back, and remained there, likely waiting for the bell. He opened his mouth to speak, but just then entered three familiar students to Meisa— the bell ringing mere seconds after. 

The professor shut his eyes briefly, and let out an agitated sigh. "Oh," he said, "it's great to see you again, Mr. Black." 

The shaggy haired boy in question only smirked in response before firing a: "right back at you, Professor Fleabane." 

The Professor only sighed once again before gesturing for the boys to sit. "You may converse among yourselves for now, as I need to write a few things down before the lesson can begin." He turned then to the chalkboard and began to write what looked to be instructions. 

Meisa however, focused more on the fact that Sirius has chosen to sit right next to herself, with Peter and Remus occupying the spots next to him. 

"Good morning," she addressed the boys— hoping that they'd share in her polite attitude. 

"Mornin—" Peter started to say before being playfully swatted by Black. 

"Ah," breathed Sirius. "If it isn't the little traitor, thought you could make friends then go be a snake now, did you?" 

"I'd hardly call myself a traitor, Black," she said whilst furrowing her brow at his tone. She couldn't decide on whether or not he was genuine in his words, or it was all just a joke to him. Though the steely eyed glare he sent seemed to be enough of an answer. "I hardly think a talking hat has enough precedence to judge any of our characters."

He scoffed, however, and turned his body more to the left in order to face her better. "All those bloody Slytherins are downright fascists—" (she was surprised he even knew that word), "— and I think that speaks for itself." 

He must have assumed he had her at that moment because he smirked deviously before turning back in his seat. 

"I suppose you would know," she said nonchalantly. "After all, they're your blood; not mine." He stilled in his seat, but otherwise didn't make show that he had even heard her. 

She couldn't hold back the small grin, (and she hadn't even needed to get her fingers dirty).

"Okay class," Professor Fleabane began cautiously. "Now don't get too excited, but our first unit will be all about Charms in the art of self-defence and offence." 

The class remained still, other than for a hand that had raised at the front, a Gryffindor boy, whom Fleabane encouraged to speak. "So... Dueling sir?" 

With minor hesitance, the stubby professor nodded causing the rest of the class to break out in whispers. "Alright! Alright! Now firstly, I've written a set of instructions on the board— though the class will not be duelling today—" a chorus of aw's sounded to which the Professor waved his hands at. "— But, I will select two students to give a demonstration based on the charms and jinxes mastered last year."

"Mr. Black, since I know how skillful you were the previous year, I am allowing you to lead the demonstration." The class seemed to still at that moment, other than Remus and Peter who seemed to both grow mischievous grins at that Professor's words. 

"If I may, Professor, I would like to choose my own partner." 

"I don't see why not," replied the old man. Sirius then stood up from his seat and much to her disturbance, he faced Meisa and nodded his head to the front of the class.

Slowly she got up, wincing from the screeching sound her chair created as she pushed it backwards. She followed him out of the aisle, making eye contact with Remus who sent a tight lipped wince her way as if to apologize for whatever was to ensue. 

"I don't believe you were in my class last year?" Professor Fleabane questioned with am encouraging smile.

"Oh," she said, "I'm Meisa Gōrudo, I was homeschooled by my mother first year." He furrowed his brow at this.

"Well Miss. Gōrudo, I certainly hope Mr. Black won't have an unfair advantage over you then," he said. 

"We'll see, sir," she replied with a half grin.

"You may now begin," he said.

"Spongify!" Exclaimed Black as he made a quick 's' like motion with his wand, Meisa had no time to even dodge it as she felt her right arm weigh down as if her bones had turned to jelly. She could no longer feel her fingers, and a quick glance down showed her that her arm had in fact turned into a rubberlike substance. 

"Careful now, Mr. Black!" 

Meisa had barely enough time to dodge the second attack before uttering a spell of her own. "Tarantallegra!" She shouted with an 'n' shaped motion that came almost naturally to her— (she had years of practice with her younger brother to thank), red light flashing out of the tip of her wand as she did so. For a moment Sirius appeared confused, before his legs began to spasm as if out of control— to which they were. 

"Magnificent Miss. Gōrudo, that's actually a second year jinx we'll be learning this term!" She smiled in pride at the bright eyed Professor, before once again facing a red faced Sirius who didn't seem to know how to stop his legs from convulsing. A few snickers arose from the class, Pettigrew being the loudest of course enjoying his friend's predicament. She found herself for once laughing along with the masses at his show causing him to meet her eyes with an intense glare.

"Diffindo!" He called with a jagged stroke of his wand, though the sudden return of his leg spasms caused his wrist to tilt higher which was enough to propel his magic to a target higher than the fabric of her robes. 

She'd screamed before she had even registered the pain, but once she did she could only gasp as the stinging sensation settled. Meisa felt her face grow warm all of a sudden, as if struck by a fever. She raised her right arm then (the sponge spell already lifted by a frantic Fleabane who non-verbally reset her bones), and brushed her glove against her cheek and felt the sticky warmth spread even through the fabric. Silk was as thin as it was thick; she could always feel body heat yet never the rough textures of flesh and bone, but blood she could feel and blood was what stained. 

The slight ringing of her ears caused her to nearly miss the screeching sounds of chairs as students rushed out of their seats to see if she were fine. Though, she ignored all sounds as she stared intently at the blood stains that which tainted her once pristine gloves. The cuts on her face had been thin enough for the splatters to be tiny and spread out across the material as if they mimicked the constellations in the sky. 

Sirius Black had cut her face (and left his signature on her gloves, written in her own blood).

"I didn't—I would never do that on purpose!" Sirius stuttered, she turned her face, ignoring the blood that trailed down her cheek and met his guilt ridden eyes.

"Flipendo," she seethed while waving her wand into a halfhearted 'v' shape. She watched as he fell to his back onto the floor. She wanted the last move, (no, she needed it).

"Enough!" Professor Fleabane exclaimed. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for your actions Mr. Black," a chorus of groans could be heard from the Gryffindor students, "you know better than to use such a precise jinx while out of control of your muscles. As for you Miss. Gōrudo, I'll have to take five points from Slytherin for your retaliation— I apologize, but those are the rules." 

"I understand," she replied, her gaze on Sirius as he moved to stand up. 

"Mr. Lupin, would you please escort Miss. Gōrudo to the hospital wing; once again, I humbly apologize for the way things got out of hand."

Without another word she slipped out of the classroom, not bothering to wait for Remus until she was out of the hallway (due to the fact that she realized she didn't know where in bloody hell the hospital wing was).

She stood there for a few seconds before the door opened once again and the lanky boy made his appearance. She was in no way short, but the boy in question still managed to tower over her (in a rather annoying way). 

"This way," he spoke gently, before leading her down the hall towards the direction of the stairs. He didn't speak for those first few moments, though the awkward tension in the air alluded to her that he wanted to. From the corner of her eye she could see a small twitch in the right crevice of his lip; a telltale sign of someone unsure of what to say. 

"He really didn't mean—"

"I know," she interrupted. 

He faltered in his steps awkwardly before continuing to walk by her side, his eyes searching the visible half of her face curiously. They finally reached the steps of the stairs when Meisa gripped the sleeve of his robe to hold him back. He seemed shocked by the sudden contact, but followed her eyes to see that the stairs had been in the process of shifting. 

"Thank you," he said faintly. They stood there for a few moments and waited before finally descending together. 

She watched her feet, careful not to trip over the material of her robe. "I don't understand the significance of the castle constantly changing its layout," she said finally as they reached the bottom of the steps.

He stood there and hesitated for a short moment, a confounded expression reaching his face as if he were unsure if she had even spoken. "Honestly," he said. "A Professor once told me it was so that no intruders could know how to escape, but I feel the castle is alive."

She pursed her lips at this and winced; it seemed the blood had scabbed over the wound. This seemed to bring Remus out of his thoughts and he began to lead her through the hall. 

"Don't worry too much about the wound," he said with a smile. "I'm sure it won't scar; I would know." He seemed confident in his words as he casually picked on his own face, but Meisa wondered about the untold story behind his eyes at that moment. They had seemed to darken almost, and didn't believe it to be a trick of the lights; the school was rather brightly lit with a golden sheen that seemed inescapable even in the dungeons of Salazar Slytherin.

"I wouldn't mind if it scarred," (she would), "after all, they're reminders of what you overcame." She said it only for his benefit, she felt he needed it, only she didn't know why she wanted to comfort him. His face grew slack at this, and he turned to look ahead— though she didn't miss the pink rise to his tan cheeks. 

"You said you felt the castle was alive, why is that?" 

He walked a few steps before stopping and facing her, she couldn't help but note that he had to tilt his chin down to really see her. There was a look in his eyes then, one that she couldn't decipher, it was a calmness she knew in place of something else.

"Sometimes, I think I can hear the walls breathing," he told her, and she didn't think him mad.

He moved to open the door next to them, and she realized they'd reached their destination. She stood there for a few moments, hoping to hear a sound or even a faint beat of a heart.

(But only silence echoed back its song).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: yaa this concludes YEAR 2 | Next chapter we begin with year 6— and lil note here I'm changing the ages so that year 6 Hogwarts students are 17-18 & year 7 are 18-19. Why? Because I'm not tryna catch a case if some shit goes down uwu // also Fleabane is a totally made up professor
> 
> ALSO... I hope sirius isn't out of character here .. keep in mind he's a 2nd year here so he's a stupid lil kid and he was known to be a prick esp to slytherin students


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang cooks up meth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I feel as if I've been presenting Remus as the goody goody of the group .. which i suppose he is almost the more mature one, but pls know that he does have his moments where he acts out with the others ofc , so im sorry if he seems ooc or improperly constructed / one dimensional rn. I promise you he has many layers and act 1 is focused on peeling them back  
> Also a lot of people headcanon Luna Lovegood as Draco's cousin bc the blonde is strong in those ones .. so I switched it up a bit bc I didn't want pandora Lovegood to be Lucius's literal sister bc that involves a lot more shit I have to keep in mind so she's like a cousin but like .. distant like a second cousin or something

sixth year | 1976

Meisa Gōrudo had gotten used to a tradition for the last five years at Hogwarts. For one, she had learnt to board the train early and settle in— each year was different: she had sat with Amos Diggory once or twice (who she could only describe as extraordinarily Hufflepuff), though typically she sat with Pandora Malfoy, a fellow Slytherin whose presence she found pleasant other than the fact that she seemed to attract the overbearing apparition of Xenophilius Lovegood (and also the fact that she was a distant cousin of Lucius Malfoy). 

Though despite of these seating arrangements, she still would get the same offer from Remus; to which she'd always decline due to his association to a certain obnoxious wizard and his idiotic sidekick. She'd grown a bit fond of the curly haired Gryffindor over the years and found herself always looking forward to the days where James and Sirius practiced for Quidditch due to the fact that Peter and Remus would join her to study or simply converse with one another.

Other than that, her presence at Hogwarts felt as if she were submerged in its depths, floating aimlessly yet ever so slowly. Now in her sixth year with NEWTs inching closer and closer, she couldn't help but wish she could drown slower. 

She shook her thoughts and stared absentmindedly at her breakfast then— a simple plate of eggs and toast, the same as the last few years, though its taste always differed; to which she could attribute to magic. 

"Are you alright?" Questioned Pandora from across the table. Meisa only looked up to meet the girl's pale blue eyes, she shook her head slightly to say no before looking down at her eggs again and taking a bite. 

She chewed for a few moments before speaking. "I'm just a bit tired that's all," she said. "My first class after this is Potions, and you know how Professor Slughorn can get." She wasn't lying necessarily, though she was avoiding her real thoughts. The blonde girl didn't seem to notice however, and instead let out a giggle. 

"I suppose he is quite eccentric," she replied only for Meisa to scoff with a quirk of her brow.

"No, quite eccentric is the Lovegood boy, he's absolutely enraptured by you; I thought being a Ravenclaw would allow him to be smart enough to take a hint." She turned back to her plate and began to spread butter on her toast— her gloves had been discarded to the side as she didn't want to dirty them.

Pandora only blushed at her comment. "Well," she started. "I don't know... I've been thinking lately that I might ask him to Hogsmeade next weekend."

Meisa paused in her movements. The finger of her right hand twitched, gently crunching the hard toast in her hand slightly, its course texture tickling her palm— Pandora didn't appear to have noticed. "Oh," she said. "I thought we would be going together next weekend." She continued her movements then, and set down her butter knife and took a bite out of her toast nonchalantly (she couldn't lose face over this).

Pandora only sent a regretful smile her way. "I'm sorry love," she said, "but I'm really starting to think that I like the little weirdo." 

She felt a bubbling of anxiety then as she moved her hands under the table to flex her fingers. They were absolutely itching at this point, and frankly she didn't want to contain it (Hogsmeade was their time— she deserved it). She didn't act on it however; she couldn't do that to Pandora (and she didn't want to think of herself as that demanding of anyone; clinginess was what she hated most). 

"Besides," she spoke up once more. "Maybe you could ask Remus to hang out with you?" The blonde wiggled her eyebrows suggestively after she spoke whilst attempting to contain a grin that couldn't help but spread over her face.

"That's a strange suggestion even from the likes of you." 

"You have to admit he's grown cuter over the years, and I've seen how he is with you; the lad has to be in love!" Her voice had grown louder towards the end, causing Meisa to shush her gently as fellow Slytherins sent them curious looks.

"You may not be able to convince me of that," she said. "But there's no need to try and convince the whole school," she seethed.

"Sorry Mei," Pandora sighed before bringing her sleeved elbows to rest on the table. "I know you hate all that lovey dovey nonsense, but you should know by now how much I adore it..." 

"I don't hate that—" she scrunched up her face, refusing to repeat the words, "— whatever you called it, I just think it's foolish." (She could get enough love for a lifetime with her hands). 

"What's foolish?" Pandora asked, slowly inching closer over the table.

"Oh, don't act dumb now! You know what I mean," Meisa scoffed much to Pandora's delight. 

☼

The moment she saw Sirius Black's head in her Advanced Potions class she knew she was doomed— especially considering the only remaining seat was directly next to him. A familiar sense of déjà vu settled over her as she walked towards the shared desk. She spotted James and Remus directly behind them, James had noticed her first and sent a wicked grin her way. Next was Remus with a small nod, and finally Sirius turned his head to see who had sat next to him— and a slow grin curled through his lips.

"Well," he said. "Isn't it quite lovely that the gang's all here." She was confused for a moment before a cough from her left signalled her to turn, and a red faced Peter smiled back from his seat next to Marlene McKinnon, a young witch Meisa knew he'd had a crush on since third year (she could easily set them up with a touch of her finger, but she felt that was a bit of a messy scenario). 

She rotated in her stool once more to face James. "Potter, I beg that you switch partners with me." 

The boy only grinned sheepishly in return, "sorry Gōrudo, you know now much of a disaster it is when Pads—" (she hated their nicknames for one another) "— and I work together. It's better this way for the four of us; think of it as a learning experience."

"What do I possibly have to learn from him?" 

"Now now Gōrudo," Sirius spoke up. "Perhaps it's time we—" though before he could say anything else, the bell had rung and Professor Slughorn walked in. 

"Ah! It's lovely to see so many familiar faces this year," the older man said. "Today, we will be attempting to create one of my favourite potions: Euphoria Inducer. I suppose the name speaks for itself so I won't ask anyone to explain it— you have the next half hour to work with your partner, all your ingredients should be at your table."

As soon as he turned his back to face the board, a chorus of whispers broke out from the class. Gōrudo only sighed before reaching down to retrieve her bag. She pulled her Advanced Potions textbook out and placed it onto the table next to the small black cauldron. She stared at her hands for a moment— and decided to pull off her gloves and shove them into the small pocket of her backpack. 

"Looks like someone's ready to get their hands dirty for once," Black laughed. She only rolled her eyes before setting back her bag and flipping through the textbook, she welcomed the papery texture of the pages, before settling on the correct section. 

"Okay Black," she said. "No way am I going to let you make me do this myself, so you better put in some effort." 

"Oh, I'm on it captain— though you're going to have to help me out; it seems I forgot my textbook," he seemed a bit embarrassed by that last part, but otherwise didn't show it on his face. She only sighed before picking up her book and placing it down gently in the space between them.

"Okay," she said. "Could you take the shrivelfig plant extract and pour it into the cauldron." He seemed to listen intently as he followed her words, though his pouring was a bit sloppy. She determined he was fine enough to handle the cauldron so she settled for retrieving the bag of porcupine quills. "While I measure the weight, you can add the peppermint, it—"

"I can read, I know— it's what lessens any chances of possible side-effects. I may be pretty, but I'm not a total idiot." She rolled her eyes once again at his antics, though this time she had a faint smile gracing her lips. She was grateful she had her head turned to measure the quills or else he certainly wouldn't have let her live it down.

"There we go," she said as she one by one placed the quills in the cauldron. "Now we have to stir it counter-clockwise four times, would you like to do the honours?" 

"Why thank you for asking," he said before pulling back the sleeves of his dress shirt and stirring, it was mandatory in Potions that robes were to be taken off. It was nerve wracking for her to be in proximity to his bare arm's with her fingers exposed to the air; she could easily set a finger on his arm and he'd worship her (total devotion from Sirius Black could prove promising). Instead she shook her head from her dark thoughts and retrieved seven Castor Beans from the bowl at the edge of the table and placed them into the pot.

"How long until it turns brown?" He questioned. She shrugged her shoulders and they waited together a few moments until the colour changed. 

"Okay now you can add more shrivelfig," she told him. Sirius immediately reached for the vial and began to pour it slowly, awaiting for her signal. "Okay now stop!" The cauldron began to bubble for a quick second before a shimmering pink was revealed, they both let out a sigh of relief.

"You can measure the wormwood now while we wait for it to turn orange," he nodded his head at that and began to set up the ingredient. It took a few minutes, but the potion had eventually shifted to a bright orange unlike any she had ever seen. Carefully, she took the wormwood out of the measuring cup Sirius held— cautiously aware of how close her bare fingers were to his and placed them into the cauldron. 

She rolled up her sleeves and began to stir the pot precisely six times counter-clock wise until it reached the golden yellow colour that the textbook had promised. 

"Looks like we're done Black," she said with a half grin meeting her cheeks— it wasn't so bad; she had expected far worse out of him.

"I suppose so, why don't you be the one to try it?" He asked with a smile of his own.

"I would," she said. "But we finished first so Professor Slughorn is going to try it— that's what he wrote on the board anyhow." Sirius seemed to still as her arm went up in the air to signal the Professor over to their table.

The man had a genuine grin spread across his face as he walked over. He leaned down and inspected the cauldron cautiously before looking up to meet Meisa's eyes. "Absolutely stunning," he said. "Pour me a cup and I'll try it immediately— I expect happy results." 

"Maybe we should add more peppermint," Sirius suddenly said. "I feel as if I didn't put enough." His words had confused Meisa as the colour of the liquid should've changed once he added it meaning he should have already known if he had put enough or not. 

Something churned in her stomach. "Oh yes, Professor sorry." He made a gesture with his arm as if to assure her not to worry, and watched as she poured the contents back into the cauldron and leaned over Sirius to retrieve the peppermint (to which she noted looked like it hadn't been touched). She poured it in and allowed it to simmer before once more pouring some of its contents into the cup.

She didn't try to meet Sirius' eye as she handed the cup to Slughorn, making sure not to touch his fingers as she did so. Meisa watched as he carefully sipped the concoction— they waited a few moments before a sigh escaped his thin lips.

"Ah," he breathed. "Excellent work you two, other than missing the peppermint I'd say this was a job well done." They both nodded in thanks, and luckily Slughorn was whisked away to another table who had a question.

"Well, we sure—"

"You tried to sabotage our potion," she stated calmly.

"I wouldn't say sabotage, per say," he told her. Faint wrinkles however, met his features as a small wince appeared on his face. Her rage was evident; he could see that. "I mean— I thought we'd be the one to try it, and it's a euphoria inducer; it wouldn't have hurt you, and who knows you probably have a lovely singing voice," he continued before turning his back to face the other two boys who had been watching the confrontation anxiously. "Isn't that right Prongs?" 

The boy in the glasses only needed to glance at Meisa's narrowed eyes for a moment before bringing his own back to his usual accomplice. "Honestly," he said. "Maybe avoid teasing people who already have it out for you, yeah?" 

Sirius only scoffed before facing the girl once more. "It's not like it would've done any real damage— and look, I saved it when I figured out our grades would come into play," he said. "Therefore, I believe I redeemed myself from any fault."

The sleeves of his dress shirt were still rolled up to his elbows; she couldn't help but notice this fact. Chills ran from her fingertips to her palms, they ached, they throbbed and they nearly shook as her eyes lingered on the delicate flesh of his wrist— (just one touch and he was hers to mold, to shape, and to reimagine). 

"You really haven't changed at all from second year, have you Black?"

His eyebrows twisted together as he pursed his lips at her words. "You know that was an accident," he said. "Besides— it didn't scar, and that was years ago; I can't believe you haven't let go." Her fingers slowly curled to fists at his words (it was a matter of a bruised pride, not resentment out of hurt)— her muscles begged to reach out and grasp him; to fix him into her own image.

But she held back. 

She hated it, but she couldn't do it here— not with Remus and James watching them both intently, waiting for her to blow a fuse. 

The bell rang then, just as she found her fingers loosening. Black only arched an eyebrow at her stilled form before walking passed her. She could feel his body heat radiating from his flesh as he did so, and her fingers stilled ever so slightly at their close proximity— his arm had brushed her sleeve. (A darker part of her thought of this as a taunt; as if the simple stroke of skin to fabric was a flaunt of the freedom that should've been sold to her). 

"If you want," a familiar voice had suddenly spoken up. She emerged out of her daze, a bit shocked and unnerved, and turned to face Remus. Dark brown eyes met hazel, and he smiled lopsidedly— as if a bit guilty by what had occurred (it seemed he always felt the need to shoulder the weight of the star; she would never know why). "We could stay back and clean our stations, then head to the library together, yeah?" 

She couldn't bring herself to smile, so she nodded instead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meisa gets a lil bit cuckoo, and I’m into that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n:  
> We’re halfway through act 1 and I’m still dead inside..... anyways Chile... post theories or whatever if u want ,, pls ,, comments are the only thing fuelling me

There was a surreal sweetness to Remus that she couldn't stand. Whenever she could she would always find herself watching him as he did tasks; he was never one to smile whilst he did so. Remus Lupin was the type to put his very being into his work, but she couldn't help but feel that if he were to know he was being observed— that he would feel a need to smile. He seemed like the type to her to go out of his way to prove himself as the Gryffindor Golden Boy he was painted out to be (it was no wonder he was a prefect though she suspected he used his privilege to allow his friends to sneak off at night). Meisa only shook her head before proceeding to sort the last vial back into its place at the front of her station. 

She turned back to face him once more, and allowed a tiny grin to form across her lips. He had his head down as he focused on his tasks, his curls bouncing ever so slightly with the small turns of his head as he placed the now clean beakers (thanks to magic) into their test tube racks. Remus was efficient in everything he did, she noted this as she watched him carefully inspect the vials for stains. 

"I wish Sirius was more like you," she said suddenly. She was still now with her lower back leaning against the table as she tilted her head and watched for his reaction. A faint red danced across his cheeks, growing more apparent in contrast to the pale white scars that traced the left side of his jaw. 

"I'm just as bad as him sometimes, Mei," he told her, though the right corner of his lip quirked up ever so slightly as he did. She knitted her brows before sitting up properly to face him.

"He sabotages himself, Remus," she countered. "You're not like him at all, don't put yourself down." She had the overwhelming need to reassure him of this, not out of kindness but because his insecurities caused a strange feeling in her chest (she was unsure as to why). 

He only furrowed his brows and shook his head harshly, she couldn't help but watch his curls move along with him. "You don't know him like I do; he can be a git sometimes, but he's not as wicked as you make him out to be." 

"How could you say that Remus?" She could feel the slight irritation beginning to bubble up now as she digested his words. 

"He's just got his own way of dealing with things," he attempted to explain. Though his words seemed to fall on deaf ears as Meisa narrowed her eyes. 

"Sirius Black is a bully," she said before taking a pause before choosing her next words, "and I suppose you are correct when you say you're as bad as him. You enable his behaviour by allowing it to continue." She intended for her words to sting, but she still wasn't prepared to see him flinch as her tongue spat venom.

In all her years at Hogwarts, she'd never truly felt like a Slytherin until that moment; she had thought houses had meant nothing. Though in the silence that followed, she truly felt like the apparent villainess the blessing of Salazar should have made her out to be.

(And yet she didn't hate the feeling).

"I know," he spoke. "But it's not as if he's ever really hurt anyone— he's never gone that far; he understands his limits. Don't let your own bias make you overreact to this." The sudden cave in of his lower lip signalled to her his instant regret at his words. 

Her fingers began to ache at this point, they shook and vibrated as if she couldn't contain their energy any longer— she needed (no, she craved) an outlet. But she chose to resist it in that moment. Still however, she crossed the desks until she stood in front of the tall boy, staring up to meet his dark eyes.

"You say that now," she told him. "But one day someone will get hurt, and by Merlin's beard— it'll be on your bloody hands." 

"I have faith in him," he said. For a moment, she stared into his eyes— daring to spot any form of hesitation or doubt, but to her bitterment there was none. "He's not a monster, Meisa. You don't know what he's been thro—"

"And I don't care to know Remus!" She cried, she was heated now at his wretched excuses. "Whatever struggle he's going through or whatever is happening in his personal life doesn't mean he can simply act however he wants and not expect people to hate him as a result. Why are you defending him, Remus?"

He only laughed bitterly, his face screwing up in a way she'd never seen before as he glared down at her. "It's like you said Meisa," he stated with malice. "I'm just an enabler."

"No Remus," she whispered. "You said that; I'm just the one brave enough to confirm it— real friends don't comfort; we tell it how it is. I'm tired of you all," she tensed as if unsure of herself (for once), which left the air open for him to speak.

"You think of yourself as my friend?" He scoffed before shaking his head, and for a moment she felt something inside her drop, as if a weight had settled in the pit of her stomach. A sensation of pricks and needles settled into her hands now, but she only curled her fingers into the fabric of her skirt.

It was insecurity that festered itself inside her now. Meisa's hands continued to shake as she took in his words. (Had she overstepped? Did he not see her as a friend?) She felt the question begging to slip out of her tongue, but she held back purely out of fear. 

She wasn't the puppet; she was the master. Men and women were supposed to fall at her feet, worship her and appreciate her very existence— she had the midas touch; she had that power, but in that moment Remus had opened up a current that allowed it all to flow away down a cursed stream.

He turned his gaze then, as if he'd grown unnerved by her broken stare; her glassy eyes, and the quiver of her pink lips that she found herself incapable to hide. She could see his jaw tense as he flexed the muscle, his scars rippling like waves over his tanned skin. 

"I didn't mean it like that," he said though he still refused to look back into the depths of her eyes. She refused to reply, (out of fear of stutter perhaps). 

He could her silence as invitation before clarifying. "I always felt a distance from you," he said. "Maybe it's because of our houses, but it's like you refuse to see me. I'm worse than I let on," he paused with a shaky breath. "But yet you still see me as above them— and I can't blame you, it appears that way through the surface of things I suppose." 

She only furrowed her brows before letting out the breath she hadn't realized had caught in her throat. "You are above them," she said. For a moment, she stilled before her lips quivered slightly. "Or at least I know you can be." 

She let go of her skirt and stretched her fingers. She turned her eye and lingered on the scrunched up material at her side before shakily patting down the grey fabric. Meisa let out a breath of air before allowing her hands to meet, she welcomed their familiar softness as she rubbed the dainty flesh of her palms. 

She knew what she had to do; he needed to be fixed, (he needed to love her). Remus was nothing but a coward in that moment, a catalyst for Sirius to do as he wished tyrannically. Remus had the potential to assert himself, to control Sirius, and to be a leader— she reasoned he only needed the right boost.

"There's ambition in you Remus," she said. "I saw it the first day I met you, and I still see it today." She didn't feel dirty in that moment as she gently reached for Remus' hands. Slowly, but firmly she gripped them into her own and brought them to her chest. His fingers grazed against the emerald green and steel grey colours of Slytherin, and she felt a strange sense of melancholy at this contact.

His fingers were course, likely from all typical roughhousing he engaged in with the marauders (a nickname she knew all too well), but she welcomed the feeling of his skin against her own. She couldn't help but savour the sensation as she'd grown so unused to the touch of another over the majority of her life. 

She didn't look up into his eyes as she spoke, and instead found herself immersed in the way their fingers moulded together. His skin was warm, and she wondered if everyone was as warm as Remus or it was just something exclusive to him (to which she found herself hoping was the case). 

"Will you be better for me, Remus?" Meisa had questioned, her voice as silky as the discarded gloves she was all too familiar with. She didn't need the added effect, nor to even ask. (But perhaps the illusion of free will made her feel more assured in what she was doing to him). 

"No Meisa," he murmured. "I don't think I can even be better for myself." She allowed his hands to drop back to his sides in her shock. She only stared at the floor as she processed his words— a no, that wasn't possible. 

She looked into his eyes this time and grabbed his hands with more force than she'd ever dare tried. 

They remained the same. No glassy effect, no mesmerizing look, no devotion— no love. (Why couldn't he love her?) Her next words weren't strategic nor careful; she let her demeanour slip, (just this once). 

"Wouldn't you do anything for me Remus?" She scanned his eyes hoping to see him betray his house, to betray Sirius, to betray himself— but his brow only knitted in confusion. 

"I like to think of you as my friend Meisa," he said. "I care enough about you to tell you that I wouldn't. I'm sorry."

Still grasping his hands she didn't notice the imprints she left on him, but he didn't seem to mind the pain. "I... I don't understand Remus,"she said. "You're not supposed to be this way." 

Her words were directed at his resistance, though he seemed to take them in another way. 

"Some things just aren't meant to be understood," he said. "I'm sorry Meisa, but we should probably be heading to our classes now. I hope you don't hate me; I don't know how I could live knowing that I caused you to feel that way." 

She looked back into their hands once more, now seeing the red welts that had grown over his palms from her tight grip— though they didn't deter her from still holding onto him. 

"Do... you hate me Remus?" She asked, and she couldn't help but hope for him to show that he was enamoured by her, for this to have all been a simple fluke, but he only returned her grip with a faint squeeze of his own.

"No Meisa," he replied in a gentle voice. "I wouldn't have let you crush my hand like this if I did." His words had an air of humour to them as he spoke, as if he wanted to fix the tension between them, but her heart only slowed.

"You're special Remus," she told him in a whisper. She dropped his hands and allowed him to thank her, despite the obvious misinterpretation behind her words. She watched him pack up his bag before he headed out alone, but of course not without a gentle goodbye.

She couldn't bring herself to say it back to him, as she found her throat constricting itself all of a sudden. The moment the door shut behind him, she let out a shaky breath as she stared at her palms. For once, her pale fingers stood still as anxious thoughts manifested and engulfed her. 

Meisa Gōrudo felt that Remus Lupin wasn't special in that moment; he was an anomaly (and she despised him for it).


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks had gone by since her confrontation with Remus, and she found herself observing him more than ever. It was late into the month of September now, and Remus Lupin seemed only a bit out of the ordinary. In classes and during dining hours, he would appear frustrated, anxious or at times even a bit dishevelled (more than usual, as he wasn't the neatest boy per say). Meisa found herself doubting her skills more and more as she pondered on whether or not this was strange behaviour for him— or just the quirks she'd never paid any attention to before. That was the error of observation; overthinking. 

Currently, he sat at the Gryffindor dining table with his front facing towards her, but his eyes meeting with James as he seemed to be listening to whatever the boy had to say (likely something to do with the Evans witch). She shook her head in that moment and brought her attention to Pandora who oddly enough, was levitating her bowl of cereal.

"Is there ever a day gone by where you haven't chosen to tinker with absolutely every spell imaginable?"

"No," the girl replied honestly. "I don't think there has been." 

Meisa only glared before allowing a faint giggle to escape her throat. The blonde witch only narrowed her eyes before also joining in on the laughter— much to the annoyance of the other Slytherins seated nearby. 

"I believe it's true when they say the lower class can find amusement in absolutely anything they set their eyes on," a nasally voice suddenly said. Meisa turned to be met with the familiar dark eyes of Narcissa Black. 

"Funny," Pandora sighed. "But if I'm lower class, I suppose that makes you much less considering you're engaged to my dear cousin." Meisa let out a smile at her friend's confident tone before raising an eyebrow to Narcissa— who appeared unfazed if not for the twitch of her eye. 

"Cousin?" She questioned. "Last I heard, your part of the family was ex-communicated; so don't flaunt your lack of familial status." 

Pandora said nothing, but allowed for her bowl of cereal to plop back onto the table with a slight splash of milk onto the dark old wood. Meisa knitted her brows in anger— she hadn't known that Pandora's family had been shunned from the rest of the Malfoy clan, but she guessed it had to do with the fact Pandora and her parents didn't seem to care for blood-status (and she suspected the Clan as likely deatheaters— though this speculation was something she kept to herself).

"So don't speak to us," Meisa said. Narcissa only quirked an eyebrow in response, as if confused. "Why bother speaking to someone if they've been 'excommunicated'? Isn't that against the whole point?" 

The Black girl only sneered before turning away from the two girls. Meisa sent a smile Pandora's way, but the girl in turn only stared down at her chipped blue painted fingernails. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

Pandora only continued to glare at her hands before releasing a pent up sigh of frustration. "I suppose I didn't know what to make of it— sure, I was never really close to anyone outside my immediate family. But it still feels... Shitty."

Meisa could only offer a reassuring look as she moved her gloved hand to clasp Pandora's. She was always excellent at knowing what to say, and how to craft her words precisely; it was a required skill. But she couldn't bring herself to tell Pandora any words of comfort because she didn't want to comfort her with lies (and perhaps because she thought she was better off this way). She gently rubbed her thumb across the warm terrain of the back of her hand, and let it linger for a moment before she noticed the devil himself making his way out of the dining hall. 

"Has Lucius said anything to you about it?" 

Pandora only shut her eyes for a few seconds before opening them slowly with a shuddery breath. "No," she told Meisa. "Though, even before it happened he seemed not too thrilled by my presence here. It's a shame really; he was like a brother to me when we were young."

"I find that hard to envision if I'm being honest," she replied absently. Her gaze still trained on the doors to which he'd just left through. 

Pandora only offered a faint laugh. "Well yes," she said. "Honestly, it may seem, I don't know, ironic now? But family means absolutely everything to a Malfoy." 

Meisa only but the corner of her lip at this comment. She never did understand the significance of family, and felt that she never would. Her own mother was an enigma to her; a woman who often kept to herself, to which she admired, but it did strain their relationship (relationship meaning only the blood they shared). Though her father had always been overbearing, smothering, and protective mainly due to her abilities. He never understood witchcraft, in fact he seemed to have a disliking towards the arts, which was likely why he didn't exploit her so-called talents the way a Malfoy likely would if given the same curse. 

She removed her hand from Pandora's then, and clasped her own together before folding them over her lap. The sleek material of her gloves slid together smoothly as she dwindled her thumbs (her father bought a pair every year). 

She noticed Pandora's inquiring stare then, and began to feel silly for allowing herself to reach thoughts of her father. He wasn't here now, and therefore didn't matter in the slightest. 

"I don't know if I share the same sentiments," she told her honestly. 

"Wouldn't it be nice to know that you have someone who'll always look out for you?" Pandora offered a gentle smile as she spoke, and tilted her head allowing for her blonde locks to cover her face— her eerie blue eyes still visible however. 

"I know that feeling all too well," she said. 

"Well that's good then I suppose," she said— missing Meisa's dark implication. "I also didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you about it— I still have my mother and father at least. It could be worse, I could be like..." Her voice trailed off, and Meisa found herself growing curious from Pandora's sudden change of face. 

"Like whomst?" She pondered. 

The blonde witch only tucked her loose hair behind her ear before licking her lips (a nervous habit that Meisa had picked up on). She darted her eyes before looking into Meisa's with a slightly owlish look.

"It's not really my place to say," she told her gently. 

Meisa's fingers twitched in her lap at this, but she only sent her friend a gentle smile. "Don't worry; I won't force you," she said. 

☼

In Advanced Potions, seats could be rearranged, but seat mates were required to remain the same throughout the course of the semester. She was unsure why this rule in particular existed since that would imply that individuality was pointless despite the course being a pivotal part of their NEWT preparation. However, what really bothered her was the fact that this meant she was stuck sitting with Sirius Black until the end of sixth year.

Today Slughorn had only proposed that they scan through their textbooks and answer various assigned questions according to the readings. She was thankful to the lack of a lab because she was free to ignore Sirius— though he didn't seem to catch the hint. 

The long haired Gryffindor seemed to make it his mission to annoy the girl in the simplest yet vexing of ways as he continuously poked her arm in order to repeatedly ask exactly how to answer the questions (all of them). 

Since the reading wasn't an assignment that was supposed to be turned in, several of the people in the class formed small groups in order to complete the tasks (which seemed easy enough despite the fact that Slughorn assigned approximately 200 questions)! 

"Potter," she called out to the boy in front of her. He turned around to face her and she couldn't help but roll her eyes at seeing his wand not only tucked behind his ear, but tangled in his messy hair. This didn't seem to bother him however, as he seemed fine with the tool sticking out to point just above his head. 

"Yes Gōrudo?" 

"Perhaps you and—" she hesitated for a moment, "—Lupin could turn around and we could form a group to get this done."

"I like your thinking," he said with a wide grin before gripping the bottom of his stool and sliding it towards her, catching Remus' attention. "After all, two heads are better than one." 

"I suppose in this case you mean four heads are better than two?" Remus piped up as he stood up to move his seat, and place his belongings in front of Sirius. 

"No," James said. "You and Gōrudo are the two heads, Padfoot and I are simply moral support, ain't that right?" 

"That would be correct, Prongs." 

"Well," Meisa said before pulling her glove further up her wrist. "I suppose it's something." She made eye contact with Remus then, but the boy only turned to look at the worn textbook in front of him. 

She knitted her brows in confusion at his refusal to meet her eyes— and it seemed Sirius also caught onto this strange behaviour. The smug Gryffindor only poked the lanky wizard in the chest with his wand before turning to Meisa.

"Don't worry if he seems a bit out of it," he told her, and she couldn't help but notice something swirling in his dark irises. "Days like these... Moony can act a bit loony." 

For some reason, James snickered hysterically at this response, but Remus on the other hand did not look too amused. The boy in question did not respond and instead sent Sirius a look as if to tell him to knock it off. 

Meisa was confused.

"Days like these, you say?" The girl only tilted her head and pursed her lips slightly as she pondered on exactly what Sirius could've meant by his words— she was always one to analyze the way a person crafted their speech (likely due to her own wordsmith abilities). 

"He means Mondays," James chirped. 

"Today is Wednesday," she said simply. For a brief moment, the boys all appeared to tense— especially Remus who she noticed had his right fist clenched around his quill; the feather's appearance likely damaged considerably. 

"It always feels like a Monday in Slughorn's class." Sirius' word's were fast and light, as if he intended to speak them nonchalantly. Meisa was still a bit perplexed by the marauders' (minus one) strange reactions, but she chose to let it slide (but only for now). 

"In that case," she said. "I suppose I hate Mondays too." The two boys let out faint laughs at her words, but Remus remained still.

She took the moment to assess him then, and found that he'd put his quill down. Though — his hands shook slightly and she didn't allow her bewilderment to show on her face this time. 

"Seriously though Remus," she had hesitated for a moment before she began to speak. She waited until he turned to look up at her and she found that he had dark circles beneath his eyes— which wasn't necessarily out of the ordinary for a typical Hogwarts student, but it was only the beginning of the school year. "Are you alright? I can't help but feel you're sick or something?" His eyes softened a bit at her (faux) concern, but he only tightened his lips and let the right corner of his lips quirk up in a smile all too familiar to her by now. 

"Don't worry about him Gōrudo," James said. "He skipped out on eating breakfast this morning and knowing my boy Moony... Well, he's got a wolfish appetite."

Remus' little smile disappeared instantaneously as a laugh chortled from Sirius' throat. Meisa watched as he breathed a shaky sigh and rolled his eyes in a far less than playful way.

"Oh yes," he said bitterly. "When I said keep making that joke and maybe it'll be funny one day; I honestly wasn't expecting you to begin saying it every bloody day." She could see the muscles in his jaw clenching as he spoke, his demeanour reminding her of their argument— though now he seemed more unhinged. 

"I thought it was funny Prongs, don't listen to him," Sirius grinned.

Meisa found herself intrigued by Remus' sudden burst of anger as she was unused to seeing such temperament from the otherwise passive wizard. She wanted to further the conversation in hopes of gathering more clues as to what exactly was wrong with Remus (and she couldn't help but hope it would unravel why he seemed immune to her power— or if his sudden change was a result of it). But she noticed Slughorn side eying the group from his desk, and she couldn't risk a detention so early into the year. 

"Remus," she perked up suddenly. "What did you get for question thirty-five?"

He furrowed his brows for a moment before raising them with a tiny grin painting across his lips (likely that he attributed her sudden change of topic as a show of kindness and not out of ulterior motive, much to her disliking). 

The bemusing boy only turned to his textbook eagerly, and she found herself growing weary as wondered exactly what it was he— and likely the other two boys were hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: shit finna go down .. also James and Sirius are quite the dickheaded friends aren't they ? But that's okay bc it leaves room for  
> character d e v e l o p m e n t !
> 
> also shout out to basickinstinct this whole book is practically dedicated to him because I love him n we’re gonna get married & also remus' outburst was inspired by something he once said to me 🤘🏽😔💞


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone’s got an ear for trouble. *hint* it’s our bat shit protagonist.

Ch7

Class felt like it went on forever with Sirius and James' presences. They had taken turns cracking jokes and casting jinxes on other unsuspecting Slytherins in the room repeatedly for the duration of the period. Meisa was thankful they were at least sly about it, but anyone with a brain could guess who was responsible for why these certain students were beginning to misplace their belongings and drops their quills. 

Meisa only bit back her tongue and worked until the bell had rung, to which then she began to pack up her supplies at a leisurely pace, her thoughts occupied by the boy diagonally across from her. Remus' head was downturned as he rolled up his parchment before setting it aside to gather his textbook and quill in one hand. A sigh escaped his throat once he finished placing everything in his bag, but there didn't appear to be anything wrong. 

"Remus," she called. He turned up to meet her eyes with a curious expression. "I was hoping you could accompany me on my way to my next class." She resisted a sly grin as she awaited his response. He couldn't avoid saying no as their classes were in the same hall; however if he did then she had all the more reason to be suspicious of him.

"Shall we then?" He asked whilst nodding his head towards the door. Meisa smiled gently before sliding off of her seat and walking to the exit. She waited a few moments for him to catch up to her side before passing through it. 

They walked in silence for a few brief seconds before she tilted her head up to the left in order to get a better look at him— though his height caused her to only have enough of an angle to capture the curve of his jaw and the scars that ran across it. 

"I always wondered why it is you haven't joined the Quidditch team, you certainly have the stature," she said with a small chuckle, and Meisa faintly noticed the twitch in his jaw as pink crept to his cheeks. 

"I admit I'm taller than most," he said while turning his head down to speak. "But sports just are not for me, per say." He scrunched his mouth before continuing. "Besides, I feel being up in the air with the lads is a disaster waiting to happen."

"Yes," she replied. "I did always wonder how Black and Potter have yet to be permanently banned from the team considering the shenanigans they've been up to." 

"Well, they can't get rid of their star players now can they?" 

"I suppose," she mumbled. "Moving back to you— I guess I am glad you're not on the team; it's nice to spend time with you without those two." She stroked her thumb around the perimeter of her index finger, allowing herself to trace the fine material of her silken gloves as she awaited his reaction.

"I mean," he started and strained his lips as if to contain a smile. "I suppose I am better company than those two prats," he laughed. 

Meisa joined in before biting her inner lip. She found him far more open now than earlier as if his mood had been flipped— she thought back to the remarks the boys had made earlier. 

"You see," she said slowly. "Despite being so tight knit I'm glad that it hasn't taught you to humble yourself—" she awaited for his huff of laughter before continuing. "— I mean you boys are so close, I suppose to an outsider you're probably like a four headed person." 

"It's like I said before, four heads are better than two," he chuckled, likely remembering James' bitterness to the correction. 

She rolled her eyes at his strange humour before sending a slight smirk his way. "Though it seems poor Potter was right when he said two heads are better than one; they seemed to have something against you judging by their little inside jokes." 

She knew his step would falter before he even did. Meisa watched the muscles of his jaw clench tediously before he let out what appeared to only be a forced laugh to the knowing eye (a knowing eye as concise as her own). 

"Oh yeah," Remus drawled. "We have a lot of little inside jokes from over the years; it's honestly hard to keep track of them." 

Meisa only hummed in understanding. It was clear to her that any furthering of the topic would discomfort Remus— and she couldn't have that (after all, she needed his trust; if she couldn't have his devotion, she at least needed that).

☼

For the first few weeks of school, Defence Against the Dark Arts was divided into classes associated with the houses— eventually they would incorporate the classes together; likely pairing Slytherin with Gryffindor, as always (she had a suspicion that many of the staff enjoyed conflict). But for now, she allowed herself the freedom of not having to encounter any of the marauders. 

The class had been tedious nonetheless, and she found herself having breathed a sigh of relief when the lunch bell had rang signalling the end of her dull lecture. The subject matter was compelling, however her professor had a way— or lack there of, with words. 

"Shall we head to the dining hall then?" Pandora asked as she grabbed her belongings and harshly scrunched them into her bag. Pandora Malfoy simply never cared for anything if it didn't breathe, and Meisa could never understand it— being someone who took time and consideration into preparing herself and packing her things neatly. 

"No," she said whilst reaching for her quill container. "I'm going to go to the common room first, my textbooks are rather heavy." She shifted her eyes to zip up her bag before looking up once more. "You can go on without me, be sure to save me a seat."

The eager blonde only nodded her head before heading out the door with a small skip to her step. Meisa rolled her eyes at her antics before heading in the opposite direction— she was thankful that the Slytherin common room and DADA classroom were both in the dungeons, as she found the moving staircases to be rather annoying at times. Everything in the bottom floors seemed to be lifeless, as everything was made of harsh stone. 

The exterior of the halls were a dark grey colour void of any decoration other than the lingering paintings and marble statues that seemed to dwell in every corner she passed. As she walked, she noticed the light of the torch candles grow dimmer and dimmer letting her know the entrance was near— it'd taken her the first year to get the hang of finding the room, as it was often obscured by Hogwarts' poor choice of decoration. 

"Lumos," she whispered into the dark halls, holding her wand up before her. She felt the familiar breeze go up her spine as the spell made its way through the wooden object. Meisa allowed the light to guide her for some minutes before she stopped in her tracks and began to remove her gloves before placing them into her pockets. She switched her wand between fingers as she did so and welcomed its coldness, before switching it back to her dominant (left) hand. She continued her steps further into the dark whilst waving her wand gently to admire the moving paintings and statues as she walked. 

They whispered often in hushed tones whilst Slytherin students typically made their way through the hall— though now they appeared to all be stark quiet. However she still heard faint calls and murmurs and she tried to recall familiar words from Remus all those years ago. She supposed the castle did breathe, she just needed to pay closer attention.

She continued to walk slowly, savouring the journey as she found the quiet atmosphere peaceful. It was likely due to the faint sound of rushing water overhead, attributed to the fact that the dungeons were located below the lake. 

She walked for a few more minutes until she reached the the familiar seventeen steps that would lead her towards the hall with the obscured wall (only a password would reveal the common room to the unlocking eye— which currently happened to be: Basilisk). Before she took the first step however, she froze at seeing two familiar figures who seemingly were in the middle of a conversation.

In any other situation, she would've carried on her march but she had reason to be wary— after all, it wasn't everyday she saw Sirius Black and Severus Snape conversing alone in the dungeons of Salazar Slytherin. 

"Nox," she whispered, expelling the light from her wand before taking a side step and lingering by the top of the staircase. 

"— hope to gain from this Black?" She managed to catch Snape question.

The sly Gryffindor only chuckled before replying. "Must you think the worst of me, Snivellus? You were the curious one after all, and tonight is as good as night as ever," he said before turning his head up the stairs and Meisa found herself inching closer to the wall. The two boys now out of vision. "Perhaps I can re-summarize," he said only fainter this time— she nearly didn't catch it. 

"Wait," Severus said. "I don't trust these paintings." She furrowed her brow at his surreptitious behaviour before tilting back to watch Snape lift his wand and wave it in a way that seemed all too foreign. 

"Muffindo," he said— and suddenly the dungeons returned to silence. She moved her head further to spy and found herself thankful for the greenlit torches outside the doors that allowed her to spot their lips moving in conversation— though she heard absolutely nothing. 

She determined that Snape had likely used an advanced charm, but she'd never heard of a silencing jinx such as this before much to her bemusement. She lingered for a few moments, allowing them to speak before she began to walk down the steps nonchalantly. 

They seemed to realize her presence by the seventh step (she'd kept count), and that was when Sirius turned the other way— not before sending her a smirk and walking through the halls. 

"I didn't take you two for friends," she addressed Snape. The two were acquainted enough so that her sudden voice didn't seem too strange to the boy, but they weren't necessarily tightly knit. 

"That's because we are not," he said. "As always, he thought it funny to harass me." She furrowed her brow at his obvious show of a victim complex— she knew for certain that something else had conspired here, other than their usual banter. 

It donned on her then that her fingers were barren, as she felt the cold breeze of the dungeons sweep the fabric of her robes to her hands. She felt the starch material scratch against the sides of her palm then, before she allowed her hands to pat down the fabric. 

Snape was lying to her; and Remus had lied to her. These facts she knew— and she was tired of it. 

"Is that so, Severus?" The greasy haired Slytherin only furrowed his brows in bewilderment at her less than formal address of his name. She walked closer to him, and she could see the attempts to conceal his nerves, but he remained rigid. 

She found his false bravery pointless; he was placed in the house of the serpent for a reason— but in that moment he was a mouse. 

"What are—?" She gripped his wrist and watched in sinful contentment as his eyes gleamed and his expression slackened until it was at peace. She didn't think she'd ever seen Snape so mild before, so tamed and so docile. 

"Would you do anything for me?" She asked him, and she hoped the problem with Remus was because of him— and not her own abilities.

"Always," he said. She smiled, but it was still strained (she found that a part of her also wanted herself to fail). 

"What did Black tell you?" 

"Last year, I'd caught them sneaking around some nights heading towards the Forbidden Forest— he'd caught me around the end of last year but hadn't said anything. I'd noticed a pattern in their disappearances, and he came to me today to tell me to come tonight at midnight to figure it out for myself. I don't think I'll go; I don't trust that blood traitor." 

She hadn't been looking into his eyes as he spoke; she knew he couldn't lie to her, and another part of her avoided his gaze for another reason she didn't want to admit. 

"What pattern did you notice?" 

"The full moon," he murmured, his words sluggish as she continued to hold his pale hand in her own. "They always sneak out during then, I think they may be performing some type of rituals. They always come back a little tattered the following day."

She only narrowed her eyes at his observations, and found weary of the fact that she hadn't been the only one to notice something odd about the group of boys (she was also a bit irritated that Snape seemingly uncovered more than she). 

"Meet me here tonight. A half hour before midnight. Don't reveal this to anyone," she told him carefully. "We'll go together to investigate. You've been a great help Severus," she said as she rubbed the back of his hand. She looked up into his eyes and spotted the familiar dazed look that she'd grown to despise over the years (though that didn't stop her from manifesting it).

"Of course," he said. "I'd do anything for you." 

"I know," she said dropping his hand, but he still allowed it to remain up. It was as if he didn't want to lose the feeling of her touch. "You don't have to tell me." 

(She always knew).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start posting theories on Meisa’s abilities or else, i have ur favourite character held at gun point and I’m not afraid to shoot.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOOF WOOF GRRRR BARK BARK

There was a foreboding sense of anxiety that filled from the pit of her stomach as she found herself waiting in the bitter cold outside the common room. Her shoulder was pressed against the cool stone wall as she anticipated the rumbling vibrations to slide the obscured room into visibility once Severus would meet her. Her gloved fingers danced across the rough fixtures of the marble before her shoulder felt the wall begin to shake. She side stepped and watched as Severus finally slid through the passage easily and allowed for the door to shut once more. 

She spoke no words to the boy before gesturing for him to lead the way. His stride was casual, as if he were all too calm at being active passed curfew— and she supposed he would be, knowing his type of slimy reputation. Nonetheless, she continued to follow as he led her through corridor after corridor. She could hear the sound of running water fade away slowly as they moved further and further from their common room entrance, and for once she found the eerie silence to be comforting.

Meisa turned her attention to Severus' back, and found her eyes tracing the folds in the fabric of his robes as he walked ahead of her. She noted that his hair didn't have much of a flow as he walked, it stood stiffly to the back of his head and she stifled a giggle at the thought of him applying muggle products to his hair to keep it that way. She shook her head at the childish thoughts before speeding up and walking alongside him. The silence had been pleasant, but now she couldn't shake off the chills it gave her— if her only source of comfort was Severus Snape, then so be it.

"Does Sirius know that you're coming tonight?" She inquired.

"No," he said. "As far as I know, he thinks that I won't show up." His eyes were facing forward as he spoke, blank and dead, but they still held an adoration she was so familiar with. It was in the quirk of his lips as he spoke, the sluggishness of his movements, the ease in his shoulders; he was absolutely enamoured by her (and she hated him for it). 

"And no one else knows that you've left your room? And what we're doing?" 

"Yes," Severus replied. "Don't worry; I was especially cautious for you. I wouldn't let anything go wrong." The words sounded all too wrong coming out of his mouth. He turned his head and looked into her eyes with his own dark ones, his strides didn't change nor did his feet hesitate as they continued their pursuit. He was sure of himself, likely more sure of himself than he'd ever been— then a thought came to her. 

"You love Evans, don't you?" 

"Not as much as I love you," he replied with so little hesitation that she felt her stomach flip at the rawness of his tongue. 

"You don't love me," she said. She turned her head to face forward, but still caught the frown that began to settle over his pale features. 

"I do love you," he said. "I would do anything for you, anything." For a moment her mind was as still as the air around them, which had grown warmer since they began to creep up the stairs. 

"Would you hate me?" She asked him coldly. 

"What do you—?" 

"I said," she drawled. "Would you hate me if I asked you to?" 

She looked to him from the corner of her eye then, and found him staring at the ground now. His lips thinned and his brows furrowed as he processed her words. She breathed a sigh realizing that testing his limits would only risk him possibly snapping out of her spell. 

She knew better than anyone the limits of love (no, devotion).

"Of course not," she said then, a smile straining against her lips. "You love me too much to do that."

"Yes," Severus responded immediately. "I've never felt this way about anyone." 

"I know," she told him. "Isn't it beautiful?"

☼

They'd reached the forbidden forest shivering as their bodies adjusted to the September winds. Severus kept his eyes on the Womping Willow as its branches swayed and danced with the air, it would've been breathtaking to Meisa if not for the way the dark branches reminded her all too much of twisted limbs. The Willow was there to protect the children from the dangers of a forest all too wondrous. It was ironic to her that their protector only guarded them by attacking the children if they got too near— a whack from a thorny branch was apparently Dumbledore's way of slapping the wrist.

"There's a way to get through," he said. Severus pulled out his wand and waved it in a rather peculiar fashion before the branches suddenly shot up, completely rigid. 

"You can do non-verbal magic," she addressed, hoping that she wouldn't need to brush his hands for a reply. 

"Yes," he replied curtly. Severus then began to march passed the tree, their shoes crunching dead leaves as they moved together. 

"When I saw you with Sirius, you used some type of silencing spell... How did you learn it?" 

He was silent for a moment as he led her towards a dirt path strewn with more dead leaves and twigs. She noted that his eyes seemed almost cautious of her; her fingers twitched at the realization. It seemed her time was near, but she supposed it wouldn't matter now— they were so close. 

"It was a spell that I had made," he finally stated. She nodded her head in understanding and continued to pace herself alongside him. The winds whispered faintly to the trees, and their hollowed branches in turn sang back. Meisa would have felt at peace if not for the darkness of the night sky. From the comfort of her chambers, she would've thought it to be surreal— but now she felt a nefarious sensation creep through the gaps of moonlight. 

She heard the loud sound of a wolf's howl before she spotted what she guessed to be the Shrieking Shack. The sound felt so near that she found herself halting in her tracks out of fear. As she did, Severus turned to face her with his own look of anxiousness— though she couldn't help but note the curiosity it was laced with. 

They stood there for a few moments, awaiting the sound of another howl— a sign for them to disregard their own curiosity. She found herself glad that no omen returned then, perhaps it was her Slytherin ambition that caused her to want to stay under such circumstances (or her own personal reasons). They were met back with only the familiar chills of winds, and as she listened closely she could hear the scrunching of leaves and twigs. 

"There's likely just a common wolf or even a dog," she assured him— though she couldn't help but wince at the doubt in her own voice. It was then that another growl ripped through the woods causing the two of them to still. 

"We need to leave," he said cautiously. His hand seemed to inch towards his pocket slowly, as if he were waiting to unleash his wand at any given moment. "I should never have trusted that Black, he's a maniac." His words were laced with a bitterness she'd found chilling under the circumstances. 

Severus then furrowed his brows before beginning to grip his wand in his fist. "Why did I even come here..." his voice trailed off. It was donning on her then that the effects were beginning to wear off, and without even thinking she found herself reaching to remove her glove off her left hand. Gingerly she placed the silk material into the pocket of her robe before inching towards Snape. It was too late now she assured herself, they were already here (and she couldn't be alone). 

She placed her hand over his enclosed fist and watched as his rigid demeanour softened like dough. His eyes turned tender as his scowl lessened until his lips slackened. She found a comfort in his love stricken awe, but also a shiver crept down her back at how it felt all too wrong, incorrect. She supposed that that was what love was— full of error and misjudgment. 

"Just stay put please," she whispered as she neared. "For me," Meisa said as another howl emerged from the tree line along with the sound of branches snapping— it seemed to be louder this time almost. 

Meisa pulled Severus close to the tree line at the left side of the path, as she heard the growls coming from the right. "Just don't move from the path," she ordered. He nodded in understanding and she was glad that her abilities allowed for simplicity; she spoke and he obeyed— it didn't need to be further complicated.

The howls would stop for a few moments but there was always this faint panting as if the animal was trying to catch its breath. Despite the forest's reputation, she knew it couldn't have been something too dangerous as Hagrid was known to care for many of the creatures that lived in the woods. Though she still could feel her heart race as she steadily moved behind Snape. The sight of the Shack grew near as did the sound of the growling and panting. In the distance in front of her she could spot a movement in the bushes and she stilled in anxiety. Meisa found her hands shaking for a different reason for once as she watched the shrub sway all too hard for it to just be the work of the autumn winds. 

Meisa found herself taking a step to the side into the tree line as she watched the bush cautiously. Snape had stilled as well, but stayed onto the path rather than submerge himself into the shadows of the trees. Together they watched, both of them with their hands ready to draw their wands, and waited cautiously for whatever it was to reveal itself. It was then that something small and minuscule shot out of the bush and startled them, Meisa letting out a small yelp as a rat raced towards them— though it seemed all too human as it stared up at them from the middle of the dirt path before darting back into the bush. 

She was confused as to why such a cunning creature would feel intimidated by them, or even give them notice in such a setting— then she heard it. 

The growl seemed so close now that she thought it was practically in her ear. She moved closer behind the tree she'd hid behind and found herself using it as a shield practically as she braced for the worst.

The air seemed to still alongside her at that moment before the clacking sound came— though followed behind it was the familiar growling. The clacking sound was precise and curt, though it flurried together like the sound of hooves— it grew closer and closer until she spotted a large stag emerge from the opposite tree line. She would've taken the time to admire the large doe if not for the ominous blood splatters that coated its blonde fur. She furrowed her brows as she analyzed it— its breathing appeared to be erratic as it seemed to stare directly at Severus.

It was then that the growling returned and the stag ran straight towards Severus— who could only watch as the animal rammed into him. His body was knocked into the tree next to Meisa and she stared with wide eyes as the stag turned back around and guarded the section that secured Severus. 

"I—" he wheezed. "I have to stay on the dirt path," his words made it apparent to her of the mistake that she'd committed— she cursed her own stupidity then. Meisa knew better than to give such specific orders. She looked down at him as he intended to stand, but she supposed the impact to his chest left him immobile— despite this injury he still tried to stand.

Meisa rushed over to him, ignoring the strange stag as the sound of her steps signalled it to turn back and face the two. "It's okay to stray from the path," she whispered to him and watched as his eyes turned calm.

She met eyes with the stag and felt a strange feeling go over her as the animal's brown eyes stared at her— as if in fear, as if it worried for her. The growling was growing now, it was nearing and she found herself unafraid as she stood up and walked back over to the divide of the path and the trees. She stag drew near and huffed as if in warning, but she found a familiarity in its eyes. It was then that the bush across from them shook, and she watched enamoured as a large shape emerged from its depths. 

Meisa didn't know what to make of the creature as it snarled at the stag— its claws bloody, likely the missing puzzle to the stag's only injuries. She felt her breath hitch as the animal stood on its hind legs and surveyed the area, its doglike snout was short, its grey-brown fur was patchy and scattered as if it were sickly. As it moved, she noticed just how boney its frame was due to the fact that its spine protruded from its back. 

She'd only seen such a creature in her textbooks, its description always the same; it was painted as violent and dangerous. But in that moment as it circled the stag, she sensed only a playfulness despite the blood that stained its nails. She'd heard before that werewolves were known to be able to make peaceful relationships with woodland creatures, though the same couldn't be said for humans. 

It donned on her then that she still hadn't seen Sirius. Her eyes widened in realization as she took in the fact that there was a werewolf at Hogwarts— and Sirius was the one who invited Snape to this exact location to encounter such a phenomenon. It only made sense to her that Sirius was the creature in front of her. She felt a shiver go down her spine then as she watched the stag seemingly attempt to divert the wolf's attention from the obscured spot where she and Severus remained. She furrowed her brows then as she wondered exactly why Sirius would dare to expose a secret like this to Snape— thus giving him the opportunity to ruin his reputation, or perhaps even his entire life as a wizard. 

Another chill went down her spine at the dark thought that Sirius perhaps didn't expect Severus to live after the discovery. It made sense— he exploited the Slytherin's own curiosity and sent him to his doom, it was evil. She knew Sirius to be awful, but she never expected this (and she was the type to expect the worst from just anyone). 

She resisted the urge to hitch her breath or even move as the thoughts raced through her mind. She needed to get out of there, but it didn't look like the stag had succeeded in drawing the wolf away as it continued its pursuit.

Meisa could only observe as the beast— Sirius circled the innocent stag. She didn't think she'd ever see such a sight ever again (and she found herself hoping she never would). A movement from behind her caused her eyes to widen as the wolf's ears twitched. She turned her head to spot Snape slinking back in fear at the sight of the animal, his back breaking twigs which had alerted the Lycan to their hiding spot. Though his position on the ground kept him likely obscured from the animal.

She turned her head and found herself looking into the clearing and meeting the large brown eyes that she couldn't place with the familiar teasing irises of Sirius. However, there was a recognition she felt in them as she stared into its depths. 

Its jaw unhinged and she felt her eyes widen momentarily. Her body froze in fear— then her feet began to move. Her arm scraped against the trees as she did, but the pain barely even registered as she allowed the adrenaline to be her guide. She could hear the creature gain on her as she tried to navigate herself back to the Womping Willow. Meisa could practically feel the animal— (no, Sirius, she had to remind herself) gaining on her. Her heart pounded at the bottom of her throat as she quickened her pace, ignoring the jagged tree branches that slashed into the fabric of her robe. She didn't take moment to pause even though she could feel her clothes tearing away, stitch by stitch due to the cruel nature of the forest. 

A slow grin spread across her chapped lips as she finally noticed the tree— its branches still rigid from whatever spell Severus had cast— Severus. She realized she'd abandoned him back with the stag, and for once she found herself irritated by her own selfishness. Though the sound of another growl ripping through the forest set her thoughts back to surviving as she sprinted towards the Willow— only to feel the ground give out from underneath her. 

With a wince she found herself on her back staring up into the night's sky, and ironically she could notice the brightest star twinkling back at her. With a groan, she rolled to her side and pushed herself up from the dirt floor. Her left hand was dirtier than it had ever been before as she found herself shoving both her palms to the muddy ground to shakily bring herself to stand. She rolled both her ankles and luckily found only slight pain— not enough to consider it to be serious injury. 

Meisa furrowed her brows and looked around to find herself in what appeared to be a tunnel of some kind. She couldn't see anything other than the circle around her created from the moonlight the hole brought in. She reached into her pocket to bring out her wand only to take out the fine wood and discover that its centre was cracked— likely from her fall. Halfway through, it bent like a broken arm and she could see sparks dangerously flowing through the fixture. With a huff she placed it back into her pocket and closed her eyes. 

She took a step forward and heard a dangerous growl emit from before her, but she only shut her eyes tighter. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to die on her feet— not at the claws of Sirius Black, not at the hands of anybody. 

She opened her eyes and from the shadows a large black beast emerged— a Great Dane, taller than even she. She only took a step back and didn't back down from its glare. She was now shaking from what she wanted to say was the cold. The dog ceased its growling as it assessed her before another harsh growl from above startled them both. 

In its moment of distraction, she took the opportunity to run passed it and escape into the darkness of the tunnel. She couldn't see nor hear anything for a few moments until she collided with a wall, Meisa felt around the dirt trying to rediscover the path— hoping that it led to somewhere and not just a dead end. The only noise she could hear was her own erratic breathing. 

Just as she felt a curve in the wall's texture, a hand covered her mouth and brought her back into a warm chest. Meisa's eyes widened as she felt herself thrash and kick in vain, only for the perpetrator to shush her gently. She was startlingly aware of her ungloved hand as whoever it was let go of her.

"Lumos," she heard. A dark wand ignited warm light, and she found herself face to face with the shocked expression of Sirius Black. Meisa felt her shoulders slacken as the boy only quirked an anxious smile. 

"Well," he said. "I did say Moony could get a bit loony on days like these; Mondays that is." His words were intended to be humorous or lighthearted, but his expression was one of stark fear. Meisa brought her barren hand up and clasped it inside her gloved one. Both skin and fabric exchanging dirt and grime as she processed his words. Remus— it was Remus who was up there. She couldn't find it in herself to question him further before resting her back against the dirt wall, not at all minding the dirt that could possibly find its way into her hair.

"It's a fucking Wednesday," she said in exasperation. 

(She didn't want to die on a Wednesday— A Friday felt more noble).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this chapter is the longest so far... I didn't intend for it to be this long tbh so I decided to leave it off here despite continuing.. basically there was more planned but now chapter 9 will basically be part 2 dun dun dun cliffhanger .. will Sirius and Meisa make it out alive? Tune in next time !


	9. Chapter 9

"Now now," Sirius said. He waved his arms cautiously as if she were a threat— his wand light following his movements like a candle. "There's no reason to be such a potty mouth." 

"That thing— Remus," she nearly choked saying his name. "He tried to kill me!" She felt stupid as Sirius only stared back at her with a nervous smile that began to frustrate her to her core. 

"You shouldn't have come out here," he told her. "You know that the forest is forbidden; I mean it's in the name." 

"Don't condescend me," she seethed. She pointed her finger straight into his chest, her mud covered hand pressing directly into his Gryffindor tie. Gold and red stained with brown after she then clenched her hand into a fist by her side. "You're the reason I'm here; you told Snape to come here— and I came with him." 

His eyes seemed to widen in realization at her heated words. She watched as his expression began to morph into something more, but before he could speak, the familiar sound of growling echoed through the tunnel. She didn't let the sudden sensation of dread deter her anger however as she continued to glare furiously in his direction. 

"We can argue after we get through the night," he hushed her. "Just follow me— these tunnels lead to the shrieking shack."

Wordlessly she followed him, allowing the light of his wand to guide them both. She couldn't help but wince at the sight of insects and worms crawling through the dirt walls. 

"Is the little snake squeamish of worms now?" Sirius inquired and she couldn't help but roll her eyes at his teasing. He was annoying (but she knew to herself the distraction took her mind of the nearing threat). She didn't reply, but kept close to Sirius' side— away from the walls of the cavern. 

"Severus is out there," she finally told him. Her words came out quietly, as if riddled with her own guilt. Meisa turned her attention to the side of Sirius' face to spot his eyes shut for a few seconds too long for her to determine it to be a simple blink. She often found herself analyzing people and seeing how they expressed the emotions they chose not to reveal through words.

"Was he bitten?" His voice came out gently, more quiet than she'd ever heard from him. For a moment a sense of pain filled her stomach in empathy— but soon again she felt the familiar sensation of resentment.

"No," she assured him. "A stag pushed him out of the way." Meisa noticed Sirius' shoulders slacken. She watched as he steadily took his hand up and ran it through his long dark locks, pushing it back smoothly. She couldn't help but notice a slight shake to his hand as he brought it back down to his side. 

"A stag, you say?" His voice was strange, and for once Meisa felt that Sirius Black was unsure of himself. 

"Your best friend is trying to kill us, I think a stag pushing Severus out of harm's way is the least strangest thing about tonight," she replied with a roll of her eyes. She expected a snarky remark in response, but was greeted with only silence. 

"Severus is safe," she said. "Remus seems to be after me." 

"You're absolutely horrible at comforting, you know that?" He scoffed.

"I know," she replied after a brief pause. He proceeded to continue their journey until leading her to a dark brown door nearly obscured by the tunnel's own underground structure. She couldn't help but notice the obvious claw marks that had scratched up the old wood considerably. She furrowed her brows at the observation and turned her head to Sirius just as he opened the door. 

"He—" she began to speak before the familiar growl was heard again. Though this time, she heard it echo through the tunnel walls; Remus was underground too. Sirius seemed to come to the same realization too as he gripped her wrist— she was increasingly aware of the warmth his hand radiated as his grip tightened around her unconcealed hand. The boy didn't seem to notice her shock as he dragged her through the door, making sure to close it gently behind him. He didn't even bother to let go as he ran up the rickety steps that led them to what looked to be a hatch. 

Sirius let go and she found herself watching him curiously as he placed his wand between his teeth before taking both his hands to unlock the entrance. The Gryffindor then allowed himself to push the hatch up before climbing up by placing his elbows on where the hatch top had landed. Meisa watched as he effortlessly pulled his own weight and put his wand to the side and beckoned her with his hand. She was confused for a moment until it dawned on her— he wanted to take her hand to help her up. She hesitated and much to her confusion she noticed his expression twist as if he were upset, before it quickly disappeared as soon as it had appeared. Meisa offered her gloved hand, mud and dirt dried on the pink silk giving it a dull grey appearance, and allowed him to lift her up with the aid of her other hand gripping the side of the square entrance. 

She allowed her knees to rest on the lifted hatch for a few moments before she stood up and looked around. It appeared to her that they were in a house or a cottage or sorts. There were no lights other than Sirius' wand which laid next to him, still on his knees. The wand's light slowed her to notice that all the windows were boarded up completely, and the curtains that likely once decorated the room were on the ground— and torn to shreds. It brought her back to what she was going to ask Sirius, before Remus' howling interrupted.

"You take him here, don't you?"

Sirius didn't reply and instead put his focus into placing back the hatch and securing it. Meisa watched in irritation as he took the crumpled rug and moved it to lay over the cover. He was bent over as he did so, his hair hanging in midair until he straightened his back and looked into her eyes. She felt herself tense at the dark look in his usually mischievous eyes. 

"Yes," he said. "There's a lot of places to hide so I wouldn't worry." She took a step forward and began a steady pace along the walls of what she guessed to be the living room judging by the torn couch and ancient fireplace. She poked her head into the next room— which so happened to be the entrance, before turning back around to quirk an eyebrow at the wizard. 

"I'm guessing that tunnel is the only exit," she assumed with a scoff. Sirius' silence was enough of an answer as she found herself placing her head into her hands and rubbed her closed eyes with her palms. She lifted her head to spot Sirius with his eyes trained to the concealed hatch.

"I'm sorry." 

The words were filled with such a surreal sorrow that she couldn't help but feel her fingers tingle just a little bit. She only brought her hands to her chest, clasping her gloved one atop the other. 

"Why exactly are you sorry?" She questioned, she watched him close his eyes and breathe a shaky sigh before opening them once more— his eyes still attached to the ugly old rug. 

"I dragged you into this mess," he said. His voice sounding near hoarse, and void of any emotion. "And Sni— Severus, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if anything happened to him." (She didn't think Remus would either). 

Technically, she had coaxed Severus into joining, and it was she that had dragged the both of them to the forest. But she couldn't find herself dwelling on that, nor did she feel the need to explain to Sirius her affliction. 

"Now isn't the time to worry about that Sirius," she told him bluntly— sincerity would take more effort than needed. "What's done is done; we need to focus on ourselves, he'll be here any minute." 

"You're such a—"

"What?" She narrowed her eyes. "A bitch?" The boy in question only stared at her in astonishment before quickly replacing it with loathing. 

"I was going to say a Slytherin, but that works too I suppose." Meisa only huffed in frustration at his antics. 

"Fine," she said. "If you want to wilt in self-pity then go ahead, but you're on the wrong track. How do you think Remus will feel once he finds out what you've done?" She didn't feel bad as she watched his expression shift once again. Sirius displayed no emotion on his features as he processed her words, and for some reason she couldn't bring herself to smile at his anguish. 

She didn't feel guilty per say, but she felt something due to his reaction. 

"Look I—" 

"You're right," he said. "I can't imagine he could ever forgive me for this— even for telling you; it was his secret to share." He turned his back and faced the boarded window. She could see his fists clenched at his side's in frustration. "I didn't want this to happen— I didn't even expect him to show up, and if he did I was planning to scare him off. I wouldn't do that to Remus; he's my brother, I don't want him to have that guilt; of hurting him— or hurting you." 

Meisa still couldn't find it in herself to offer console to the boy (after all— she couldn't very well tell him it was she that forced Severus' mind). Instead, she reached forward and laid her barren hand over his shoulder. She could feel his muscles tense from beneath the fabric, and she found her cursed hand grip the slightest bit tighter. She could imagine that he believed the action to be a sign of comfort, (if only he knew).

"No one is hurt yet," she said. "Just forget it all for now; we still have time to hide." She felt him hesitant, and she considered allowing the flesh of her palm to graze the skin of his neck. But before she could, he nodded his head in agreement. 

She gingerly moved her hand from his shoulder and walked toward the staircase leading to the upper floor. Meisa lifted her foot and took the first step, welcoming the creaking sound as she began to quickly move up the steps. Sirius was right behind her, the sounds of his own steps following her by his own decision. 

"You would think that an experience like this would bond us," he joked as he took the final step. Meisa only rolled her eyes at his attempt at humour— despite the ever present sunken look in his eyes.

Before she could respond— a sudden crash emerged from down the stairs and she felt her heart race. The destructive sound was followed by loud heaving, and finally the growls and snarls that she believed she'd never escape. 

Meisa shut her eyes and listened as Remus took loud steps around the the living room, likely knocking into the couch judging by the thuds she could hear. She turned to Sirius and he only raised a finger to shush her— as if she needed to be told, before turning his finger to behind her. She moved her head and spotted an open closet with old clothes falling out and mould likely coating its walls. 

Meisa gripped the sleeve of his robe and quietly led him to the closet and walked in. However once she turned, she noticed he was hesitant to join her judging by his sudden halt. She tugged on his sleeve, but his attention was still on the growling from downstairs. 

Carefully, he removed her hand from his grip and clasped her wrist gently.

"What are you doing?" She whispered frantically. She raised her gloved hand to separate his own from her wrist, but Sirius only gripped it as well. His hands held both her wrists, and she found herself staring deep into his eyes. 

"I can't explain it to you now," he told her. "But I can go down there; I can distract him, he can't hurt me." She widened his eyes and shook her head as he spoke— Meisa thought he had truly gone mad.

"Now is not the time for stupid Gryffindor bravery," she told him harshly. Much to her agitation, Sirius' lip twitched ever so slightly before it flattened once more. 

Meisa was startling aware then of how just if she slipped her hand a bit lower, she would be skin to skin with Sirius'. She could convince him not to be so foolish then, and he wouldn't have to risk his life out of his own guilt. Though something in his eyes made her rethink.

"Please," he begged. "Just trust me." She didn't know why, but she nodded her head and allowed for him to drop her hands. Meisa took a step back into the closet and watched Sirius' eyes as he shut the door slowly. 

She shakily raised her arms and wrapped them around herself. Meisa was never afraid of the dark, but in the darkness she felt as if the tight space of the closet had suddenly turned infinite. She could hear faint shuffling from the other side of the door— and then heavy steps that didn't sound like Sirius' at all. 

Meisa listened to the steps as they descended down the stairs, she knew there was thirteen, but she only heard less than half of that before the growling filled her ears. The sudden snarling of two animals was heard and she found herself backing into the wall, and sliding down to the ground as she listened in both confusion and anticipation as to what was to come. 

She didn't know how long she had been there when her eyes began to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I realized Peter's barely been in this story ... I hate that rat but dw he's gonna be in it more soon !! I'm not gonna erase him . Also I think there's been some confusion over this story pls let me explain something ;
> 
> \- Meisa is not supposed to be a good person; she's manipulative and that's hot af  
> \- Her Powers; for now ,, you only know that when ppl touch her hands , she has the ability to control their actions / based on their own will power it'll last for who knows how long / during these periods of time, they think that they are in love with her . After the effects wear off they remember their actions but don't remember their real motivation   
> \- Meisa has learnt over the years how to exercise her powers in a subtle way so that ppl don't suspect her of anything


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doggy down

Meisa didn't know what time it was when she heard the eerie creak of the old door— she had always been a light sleeper. She squinted her eyes and watched as Sirius opened the door. His face was battered with bruises and cuts; though none large enough to look like claws. A slow grin reached his chapped lips before he tumbled forward, his body braced itself against the door before he allowed himself to finally fall. His long hair nearly touching Meisa's ungloved hand, raven locks stretching towards her like silken fabrics. 

She recalled feeling stunned for a few moments as she listened close to hear his quiet breaths. Meisa only slouched back and allowed her head to bump gently against the wall. It was then that she heard loud steps travel up the stairs, and she found herself staring straight ahead at a pair of brown stockings latched onto a pair of thin legs. 

Madam Pomfrey tapped one foot quietly at a seemingly set pace as her horrified gaze met Sirius' form and finally landing on an apathetic Meisa. The young woman only breathed a sigh, allowing her fingers to settle over her bosom before moving the hand to wipe her tired brow. 

The next hour was a blur for Meisa. Her senses turned to auto-pilot and she found herself shadowing the uptight nurse as she handled everything with patience, and snide comments. She faintly remembered Hagrid trotting up the stairs and retrieving Sirius, carrying him bridal style. She recalled glancing towards them and felt that in the giant's arms he seemed only to be a battered toy, a little star who didn't shine so bright no more. 

The only sparkle she could see was in Hagrid's eyes as he sent her a small grin as if to reassure her— everything was okay. 

She didn't feel that way as she took the first steps down the stairs, her descent feeling like a metaphor of some sort— one she didn't care to dwell on. She paused on the fifth step, a part of the living room floor now visible and unmistakably matted with dried blood. 

Her pause had caused Hagrid to falter in his own step behind her, his body had been sideways as he awkwardly held Sirius, the boy's foot grazing her back causing her to take the next steps and she found herself back in the living room. 

Despite the chaos, despite the blood, and in spite of her own thoughts— her eyes were trained only on the lanky boy; naked and shivering under rags that she recognized to be the familiar tattered curtains she'd spotted the night before. 

It was only when spotted Hagrid bend down to gingerly pick the boy up did she realize she had been staring— she turned then and noticed that Sirius was now standing, although he was held up between James and Peter for support.

She was unsure of when they had joined the mix, although she didn't question it— nor did she speak really. Meisa could only avert her eyes to Madam Pomfrey, who only gazed at Remus with the most tender of eyes, similar to that she would expect of a mother despite her young age. She had grown used to the woman's cold expression, with her tight lips and strict attitude, but in that moment she was merely a woman caring for a son that was not her own. 

Meisa couldn't meet Sirius' eyes despite the fact that she could feel his own staring blankly into her back. She only curled her shaking fingers and tucked them into the torn pockets of her robes, hoping to give the cold digits just a bit of warmth. 

She couldn't remember how exactly they'd all found themselves outside of the shack— that, she likely attributed to Madam Pomfrey's wand. Though she could recall the cold morning air and slight shine of sun through the old trees, their branches more live than she felt in those moments. The sky had been pink, and she determined that it was likely the cusp of dawn; or sunrise. 

Despite the calm and the silence from the group, she only felt a sense of surreal discomfort— nothing felt the same anymore to her. Judging by the fact that she felt Sirius' dark eyes on her throughout their journey, she determined nothing would be the same between them either.

☼

It was now that she found herself sitting at Remus' side, he was still fast asleep, beams of sunlight splayed across his freshly scratched cheeks due to the open window. Behind her was only a curtain that separated the two from Sirius— though the magic of the white sheet prevented any noise they emitted to escape the enclosed area. 

At some point during their journey she had removed her other glove and shoved them into the depths of her pockets with its twin (she didn't know why). Meisa only traced her fingers over the metal frames alongside Remus' bed as he slept, though suddenly not soundly. She froze her movements and watched as his eyes tightened before opening sharply, however the sun beams caused him to squint and only in turning his head to the side to block the light did he finally notice her. 

They didn't speak, and allowed a pregnant pause to break through the quiet area before Meisa decided to speak.

"Hi," she said quietly. Remus only furrowed his brows and tightened his lips, as if irritated— his frustration reminding her of their argument that seemed to have been forever ago. 

"Why are you here?" He questioned. "I—I'm a monster," he told her, and Meisa didn't doubt that he believed that. 

"You never meant to hurt anyone Remus," she replied. "Both Severus and I—"

"I know," he interrupted. "The co— lycanthropy; it doesn't make me forget. I always remember everything the next day. I know I didn't bite either of you." 

"Despite remembering; at the time you couldn't control yourself, that is correct?" 

His eyes seemed to widen at her question, his lip quivered just the slightest bit and she found the familiar melancholic expression return to his face, replacing his guilt and anger. She could remember reading that lycanthropy could age its host, and in that moment Remus was far older than he'd ever been. 

"I wish I could," he said. "I—"

"Then don't bother apologizing for something you had no control of," she told him firmly— she held back a wince, feeling as if she picked up the temperament from Madam Pomfrey. The boy only clenched his jaw and nodded, though she felt he was only too tired to further argue. 

"Meisa," he said finally, though his tone was if he were questioning. "Why were you and Snape even there?" 

In that moment, it finally donned on her that Sirius had left Remus in the dark— he had never known his plans to prank Severus. He had been used, and still didn't know the truth. A part of her wanted to lie to him and protect Sirius— protect their friendship. But she thought then on how broken Remus looked as he slept, she knew he was likely plagued by nightmares of his own self; he hated himself— he hated what he was. Sirius has known this, and in spite of everything had thought it funny to endanger Severus at the cost of Remus' own guilt.

He didn't deserve the kindness behind lies— he didn't grant Remus such a blessing when he had chosen to air out his own secrets (and a part of her wanted the boy to get what was coming to him). 

"Remus," she said. "I know this isn't my place to tell you—" she paused, (and realized that in spite of her words, she didn't really care). "— but the truth is, Sirius had told Severus to go to the forest; he meant to prank him by scaring him off with... You." 

She watched him sit up slowly, and she found that no sense of satisfaction filled her chest at the sight of his obvious pain— he had been betrayed after all. 

"H-How—" his voice cracked miserably. "How could he? H-He knew, he knew that I'm afraid. I've always been afraid... I can't imagine what I would do if I hurt Snape. I-I can't imagine what I'd do if I had hurt you," he finally choked out. A stream of tears finally slid down his cheeks, and could imagine that it must have stung as they slid over his fresh wounds. 

"I'm sorry Remus," she said (she really was). "You know how he is..." 

"Yes but— but never like this." Meisa only fumbled her fingers together at his broken words before splaying them gently over her lap. "I was turned as a child Meisa," he whispered then. "You have to believe me when I say I've never had control over this; he knew that."

"What about wolfsbane, Remus?"

He only scoffed, his lips tightened in frustration though it wasn't directed at her. "No," he said whilst shaking his head. "Ingredients are too costly for my family, and simply buying it could risk outting me— I-I'm unregistered though I can only imagine that blessing might be running out because of him."

"Snape won't be telling anyone— Dumbledore is with him now, and that man knows how to convince just about anyone of anything." She assured him, although he still remained offensive. 

"If only..."

"That's another thing," she said—surprising even herself. Meisa found herself standing then before she moved to sit on the side of his stiff bed, her legs dangling off the side, hitting the metal chair she had just sat on. She reached forward and grasped his trembling hand in her own— and the feeling was so foreign she nearly had to pause. 

"Remus, you and I both have our secrets," she turned and looked into his eyes and spotted only confusion. "Ever since I could remember, I had the ability to make anybody do exactly what I wanted by simply allowing them to touch my hands." At her words, she felt the tremor in his fingers halt, and she wondered if her grip hadn't been so strong, if he would have pulled away. 

"Though this came with the burden of their devotion; they would believe that they were enamoured, infatuated with merely the idea of me. My mother tried to shelter me from the world, but my father— he's a muggle; he never understood it, so he sent me to public school." 

She breathed a sigh then. "He thought that it was just something all wizard children could do— he never thought anything of it; the ability never worked on either of my parents or my brother." 

"I don't see how..." 

"Just," she stopped him, and pursed her lips. "Just listen please. It was maybe the third day of elementary school when I had been causing a ruckus— I wasn't a very patient child. The teacher had grabbed my hand, and from then on I was allowed to do anything." She smiled, a slow bitter grin meeting her lips at the old memory. Remus also allowed himself to smile as well, and that was when she spoke again. 

"At first it was nice," she told him. "I would find ways to hold his hand every school day so that I could get free snacks or extend our recesses. I didn't know when the curse ended and my teacher began— soon enough, his only purpose was to serve me. I didn't even need to touch him by the time the first month had ended. Eventually, my father began to notice his fascination for me and put two and two together." 

"This teacher... Did he...?" Remus allowed the question to hand in the air, as if he was unsure if he even needed to hear an answer. 

"No," she told him. "It was never like that, they adore me, but they'd never hurt me." She realized then that he'd never understand it; in fact, she didn't even understand her own feelings on the matter. 

"I can't explain it to you but I hate it so much," she breathed, her hands squeezing his impossibly harder. 

"It doesn't seem like you hate it at all— and... You're touching me right now," he said with a quirk of his brows. "But I suppose the only thing I can be devoted to is the moon." He laughed bitterly at that— though her dark expression was enough for him to confirm that that was the case indeed. 

"You're the first person outside of my family to be immune," she told him. "I find it almost refreshing, but at the same time it scares me Remus— I don't like being out of control."

"You're complaining to me because of lack of control?" He nearly scoffed in amusement, and she couldn't help but crack a chuckle at his humour before allowing a grim expression to settle upon her features once more. 

"Meisa," he said quietly. "You said you hate it, but I feel like there's so many gaps in your story; in your explanation, what exactly do you hate?" His words were true, she was hiding a great deal in spite of her honest confession— though she reasoned to herself that she didn't need to strip all her secrets (especially regarding her father).

"I hate that they could let themselves be so— so weak," her words were laced with loathing, and for once she found that she didn't need to repress it. 

"How could you hate someone for loving you?" She nearly scoffed at his words, but she only bit her lip and silently cursed his naïveté (and envied it). 

"Love is not devotion," she told him, and she meant it— completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hopefully u remember but.. lol for my ACTs the quotes in them are the last 2 lines of the act ... yes this concludes ACT 1 ! We going ACT 2 soon !!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moony’s acting a little moody.

Act 2

" Of course I do, " 

☼

" For some reason, I find myself wishing you meant that.”

* * *

After her confession, she felt as if there had been a change in Remus. There was no warmth in his eyes the next day she had come to visit him between classes, but she didn't allow it to deter her. Come Friday, she still sensed a cautious look in his eye— and she found that she'd given him enough time to process everything that had occurred. 

At that moment his gaze was looking towards the darkening sky. September had turned to October and the short breaths of Winter were causing the sun to dip into the earth quicker than before— she assumed his next night this month would be longer than the last. 

"You don't have to worry about your condition getting out," she spoke up and yet he didn't turn his head. Though the stiffening of his shoulders told her he was listening. "Dumbledore had a meeting with both Snape and I— he made us take a magic oath."

"And I am to assume such charms work on you with your own  condition ?" 

She felt the heat go to her cheeks by his assumption and wondered just how much she'd underestimated him. He turned to face her now, all that was left of that night was a faint green-purple bruise below his cheek— opposite to the side that held the scars that would never fade. 

"No," she told him honestly  (she didn't know why).  "But I would never reveal your secret, I just want to assure you that you don't have to worry about Snape's sly tongue." 

"I'm not too certain that  he  is the one with the sly tongue."

She furrowed her brows due to his passive-aggressive tone, and wondered exactly what it was that caused this sudden shift in his judgement of her. It couldn't have just been about her ability— no, she said what she needed to. She clenched her jaw however, and allowed her thoughts to think of ways to address the tension in the room. However, the sudden slide of the curtain behind her caused her to halt. 

Remus' demeanour seemed somehow more rigid than before and she knew straight away who had walked into their space judging by the stormy look in the lanky boy's eyes. 

"Hello Black," she turned to face the boy and held back a look of shock at the bruises that marred his once pale face. 

"Gōrudo," he addressed curtly. His attention however, remained on Remus with a sheepish look painted upon his features. 

"You have some nerve," Remus said. Meisa could see his shoulders visibly shake and she found herself unable to determine if whether it was to contain his tears or his anger. 

"Remus, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You have to understand, it was all in good  fun ." 

Meisa could only purse her lips and shut her eyes at his foolishness. She found his words to be  cringe worthy, ( especially as someone who knew all the right things to say).  It was clear that Sirius didn't know how to craft his words whatsoever— and the raggedy breaths she could hear from Remus proved that to be so.

"Fun?  Fun?"  He seethed, her eyes were open now and she could see him clench his teeth in anger— and she found herself clasping her fingers together. She was startlingly aware of the dirt and blood stains that refused to wash off the once pastel pink gloves which now took an almost  yellow  undertone. 

" Fun  is replacing quills with worms!  Fun  is pulling Malfoy's underwear over his head after a match!  Fun is not attempted murder ," he shut his eyes then and she could see the tightness of his cheeks as she strained to say his next words. "And fun," he paused. "Fun is not proving to your friend that you believe he is the monster that he knows himself to be." 

Meisa didn't bother to turn back to face Sirius,  (knowing he likely had a dumb expression on his face).  However, Sirius did step closer to the bed, allowing her now a view of both boys as they faced each other with their own respective emotions on the matter at hands. 

"Moony... you know that's not true," he said softly. Meisa knitted her brows together as for once— she felt Sirius was  attempting  to be, well, serious. She'd never heard him speak in such a way to anyone, not in all their years of grievances and half-baked apologies. "I didn't think it would go that far, I just thought he'd hear the howls and get spooked and run off  at most.  That is if he  did  show up; I didn't think he planned on showing up anyways. Snape knows better than to trust my word— I mean, I don't know what made him fall for it. I never intended on you escaping the shack either— and I  certainly  didn't know Meisa would be coming along with him. I didn't even  know  they were friends!" 

Meisa kept her demeanour calm throughout the ramblings of Sirius— as she realized her error in planning. She nearly wanted to hex Sirius for his unintended big mouth. To him, the details likely seemed a bit confusing. But to  Remus,  the pieces of the puzzle were likely all coming together  (all at once).  She could practically see the gears turning in his head as he processed Sirius' words  (specifically his last ones). 

"Yeah," Remus responded with a forced grin  (reminding her all too much of the wolf in a muggle's tale) . "Neither did I, but I suppose Meisa has always had her ways with people." To Sirius, the words came off as a friendly jab at the girl. But to Meisa, they only caused her fingers to itch from beneath her tainted gloves. 

"Yeah..." Sirius replied, sounding a bit unsure. "But Moony, I really am totally, absolutely and sincerely apologetic." Meisa held back another cringe as it was apparent that Sirius' natural disposition had returned, judging by the way he exaggerated his words. "I mean— at least this won't be getting out, and I bet soon we can have a grand laugh over this. That is— after Meisa and I finish detention shifts." 

She tensed— she'd nearly forgotten about having received detention alongside Sirius  (Snape was excused for reasons known only to Dumbledore and himself). 

"A laugh?" Remus questioned, and it was then apparently that Sirius had realized his error. Sirius' lip quivered slightly at the sound of Remus' hollow tone. In that moment, she pictured herself in Sirius' place, correcting his words and replacing them with her own in order to replace the lines of frustration marring Remus' tanned flesh. Her fingers suddenly fastened more tightly around one another— and she was aware of the quick shift of Remus' eyes to her lap because of the sudden movement. 

She couldn't tell what he was thinking at that moment  (and that caused her to tighten her fingers even more) 

"Sirius," Remus said slowly, as if he were sounding out the name for the first. In a way, he had been as she understood the boys to only have referred to each other by their endearing nicknames for likely the last six years. "I..." he trailed off and shut his mouth so abruptly that Meisa nearly felt the sound rattle her own skull. He shut his eyes before opening his cracked lips once more. "Just go, please. I don't wish to see you right now— either of you." 

Before Meisa could inquire as to why, or object, he turned to her with weary eyes reminding her too much of how he used to look at her. 

"I hope you two have fun in detention," he said addressing both of them, but his eyes only met her own. "Perhaps you'll discover you both have some things in common." 

☼

It was late at night when she found herself in her night slip facing the washroom mirror. The washroom was to be shared by her and the other members of her dorm, but she didn't want to be disturbed, and so she waited until the middle of the night. Now she found herself watching as the material of her gloves soaked under the stream of the sink. 

Harshly, she pushed the knob of the hand soap as she held the gloves in her other hand and watched as the purple liquid squirted onto the material. In a way, the mess was beautiful— the yellow-brown dirt served as a background with the dots of blood appearing as though they were scattered stars with the purple moon, as courtesy of the soap. 

She hated stars, however, and she was beginning to hate the moon. Letting go of the soap, she hissed at it fell back causing a small  crash  sound to emit as it hit the marble of the sink's table. She shut the sink and listened as if to hear the sound of footsteps from the other girls, and was thankful to hear nothing at all. 

She turned back the sink and rubbed her fingers over the material of the gloves. Meisa watched as the soap suds appeared and yet the traces of blood and dirt remained embedded to the gloves like a memory. She shut her eyes and released a sigh out of sheer frustration. 

She gloves held no sentimental value to her, in spite of how long she'd owned them. But for some reason, she couldn't help but want to hold onto them. Meisa opened her eyes and leaned down closer to the sink, she allowed the fingers of the gloves to hit the hot stream of water. She watched for a few moments, enraptured by the way the fingers of the gloves allowed themselves to be manipulated by the water's constant rush. 

Meisa turned the tap slowly, and watched as the water lessened and lessened until she was left with only faint drops hitting the material like tears from flesh. She gripped the gloves in both hands, and watched as the water seeped through the cracks between her knuckles. She let go and glared at the way they hung over her hands.

Meisa turned and walked to the waste bin. For a moment, she hesitated— for but a quick second before pressing her slippered foot on the bin's edge and watched as the magical can opened its lid— anything that went in its mouth went straight to no one knows where exactly. Most girls only used this bin to empty out old letters, confessions, and gifts from first loves and fools. 

Meisa clenched her fists around the gloves before allowing them to fall into the bin, disappearing the moment they sank below the rim. They were gone now, forever. 

(And her hands had never felt so cold). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Also I think the main question is what's up in Remus' mind? Why the sudden hostility towards Meisa? All to be revealed next chapter and let me say... it might not be what u think it is....


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meisa gets tangled in her own webs— like my fingers through my mf hair brush.

The days had gone by with practically no interaction between Meisa and Remus. The boy in question seemed to go about his days as he normally would— except there was always a stiffness in his shoulders. She noticed it in the way he walked the halls with the others, and the way he sat with them at the Gryffindor lunch table. He never made eye contact with her, nor gave any reason to believe that perhaps he was aware of her sly gaze. He simply behaved as if he were unaware to the watchful eye as he laughed in a way that made it seem all too forced— much to the realization of James and the others who seemed to smile less and less as Remus' odd behaviour continued on.

It was only again when she was seated in Advanced Potions next to Sirius did she feel the need to break the ongoing behaviour of downcast looks and awkward silence. Professor Slughorn spent the first half of class lecturing on the importance of 'safety' in potion skills (likely due to the fact he'd discovered a few potions had gone missing— unrelated to the fact that members of the Ravenclaw quidditch team were currently stuck to the ceiling of the grand hall). It was only when he shut his mouth and demanded the formation of groups of four to be made in order to answer the introductory questions on classroom safety, did Meisa feel that fate was on her side. 

Never before had she welcomed the sound of screeching as James slid his stool back before spinning in his spot to face her content expression.

"Well," Sirius mused. "Looks like the gang's all back together." James had cracked a small smile at Sirius and allowed it to linger on his face, Remus on the other hand seemed a bit too occupied in his textbook to acknowledge the other boy. Meisa furrowed her brows at the odd behaviour of the boys before shifting her eyes to Sirius. 

From her quick glance, she was surprised to finally notice the dark shadows that rested beneath his dark eyes— a stark contrast to his usual pale skin. It became clearer then that perhaps the events that had taken place had left far more of an impact on the group of boys than she realized. 

"Well," she chirped (not too enthusiastically, but just enough so that it felt natural). "I suppose we'll just have to split the questions? Or I suppose Remus and I will split it up while the two of you—" she nodded to James and Sirius, "— will probably do some scribbles, I suppose?" 

"No," Sirius interrupted. She felt her brow raise in speculation as she waited for him to catch her eye. "We can all split the work equally, I don't need to be babied." 

"Speak for yourself, mate," James scoffed. "You can have your little threeway, and I'll play the role of the good bloke who'll supervise." 

"Prongs, I don't think you really understand the full extent to that word," Remus muttered. 

James only ignored him by rolling his eyes before slumping over the desk. His glasses pressed dangerously hard against his opened notebook. Meisa only shook her head at the Potter boy's antics before speaking up.

"The questions get much more difficult as the numbers progress. I suppose we should just start from one, two or three and skip to divide, rather than give us each an individual section to work on." Sirius nodded his head in agreement, though he didn't seem to be paying all that much attention to her explanation. 

"What about you?" She asked Remus gently, a small smirk on the edge of her lips, small enough to give her face an innocent look that was well mastered (she used to practice certain expressions when she was a child— this, she could never admit). 

"Alright, Gōrudo," she stilled at the use of her surname— he said it casually as if it were all too natural for it to fall from his pink lips. Except it wasn't. He always called her Mei— and at times Meisa, but to call her by her surname, that was all too formal. 

She thought they were passed formality, she knew they were. 

She had also noticed the way James had tensed his shoulders when Remus had spoken— to an onlooker, it likely looked like a mere shift for comfort, given how in his resting position, his elbows shielded his face. But Meisa knew better (she always knew better). 

"Okay," she stated— she couldn't show that she was bothered. If not out of pride, then out of spite. She felt he wanted a reaction out of her, but she refused to allow the mask she had perfected to crack. "Black can start from one... You can do two and I'll do three then?" 

The curly haired boy only nodded curtly before looking down at his scroll, and beginning to write in his loose scrawl. She watched for a brief moment as his light curls bounced slightly as he alternated from his scroll to staring at the question in the textbook. 

Meisa turned to her own work and began to write slowly, the sound of Sirius' own writing reached her ears eventually but her focus was on the sound of Remus' quill and the faint scratching noise that the rusted metal created. 

She grew used to the sound, so when it ceased she immediately turned her head slightly to see the cause. His quill was still tightly grasped in his right hand that she began to feel concerned for the frail object. Remus didn't seem to care however his lips were pursed tightly, but his eyes were on Meisa's scroll— or more likely her hands. 

"Where are your gloves?" He asked slowly, as if he were attempting to control something within him. 

"I threw them out— they wouldn't turn clean no matter how much I scrubbed away the dirt and blood from my fall," she sighed— hoping he wouldn't make a scene. 

Remus let out a small laugh however at her response— much to her bemusement. She quirked a brow and he only sighed gently. Even James and Sirius turned their heads to their friend in concern. 

"I don't know, it's just ironic to me," he let out a small laugh again— resembling a scoff, and Meisa decided to allow a (fake) smile to meet her lips before returning to her scroll.

☼

For the rest of the period, she tried to stay as natural and calm as possible. Remus hadn't spoken again either. James at some point decided to wake up from his nap and chatter with Sirius— who uncharacteristically seemed quite focused in completing his portion of the work. Eventually, James had backed off and focused his attention on messing with Peter who sat on the other side of the room (although gladly, in order to be grouped with the McKinnon girl). When the bell rang, the boy skipped out of his chair claiming he needed to see his little flower. Sirius was soon to follow, and Meisa was glad to find herself alone with Remus as their other classmates began to pack up. 

"Remus," she said as she stepped around the desk in order to reach his side. "I—"

"Save it," he said. At this point, the other students had cleared out leaving only Slughorn who was currently in the small attached room which contained the more dangerous (and deadly) ingredients and potions. 

"If I had known the truth behind what Black was planning— that you were what was involved I wouldn't have used my ability on Snape. I put him and myself in danger in order to feed my own selfish curiosity and feud against Black, and for that I'm sorry."

"No you're not, and that's not w—"

"Oh," Sluggorn questioned as he walked back into the classroom. "I thought I heard students still in here. Is there any issue you two would like to bring to my attention?" 

Before Remus could reply, Meisa placed a hand around his wrist calmly before turning to him. "I am sorry Remus, and I can prove that I care about you." 

She walked towards Slughorn and gripped his hand, a feeling of strength rushing through her hands as she watched his curious expression turn to one of pure calm. 

"Thank you professor, I just wanted to know if Remus and I could go in the back room and with your permission borrow a few items for study?" 

"Meisa... I don't understand," she heard Remus say from behind her but she merely ignored him and waited for Slughorn's response.

"Yes of course, anything for my star students. I have to go on my lunch break now... I'll leave you both to it." 

Meisa nodded her head before opening the door to the room and beckoned Remus to follow. The boy did so, although a bit reluctantly. She waited to hear Slughorn leave the classroom before shutting the door and turning to Remus. The boy in question only stared at her with an unreadable expression before flittering his eyes over the shelves that lined the room. 

"So your apology for using your abilities recklessly is to... use your abilities recklessly with a teacher? You've told me this story before... I thought you learnt this lesson already." In the dim lighting, she could only faintly see his expression through the shadows the flickering light above casted over his scarred features.

Meisa only rolled her eyes at his condescending words. "It's only one time, and I'm doing this for you." Her words caused him to furrow his brows in confusion before his eyes finally widened in understanding, and then— likely attributed to a trick of the lighting, darkened almost immediately. 

"No," he said harshly. "I'm not stealing in order to make my Wolf's Bane."

"You're telling me as a— whatever you like to call it, marauder, you're above stealing?" She quirked a brow, hoping the humour in her tone would put him at ease. 

"That's different and you know it." 

"It's for a good cause, you won't have to be in pain every month... I know it may feel bad but... I can't bare to see you hurt all the time." 

He seemed to contemplate her words for a moment before shaking his head, as if to expel the idea. "You can't bare to see me in pain, or you just can't bare knowing that there's something out there you have no control over?" 

The heated words caused her to take a step back as her eyes widened from the harsh accusation (but she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps... no...). She could feel the hard door press against her back as she breathed a sigh before allowing her own anger to flood her gaze. 

"I'm only trying to help you, I'm not a monster Remus— this power, it may seem selfish at times and I admit it can be but I wouldn't use it to hurt you," she protested. 

"You wouldn't?" He scoffed. 

"I wouldn't, Remus." 

"Will you be better for me then?" The words took the breath out of her chest as she felt the feeling of dread fill her stomach. A feeling of déjà vu suddenly emerged, and at that moment Remus' anger finally made sense.

It was never about Snape. 

Her fingers turned cold. 

"What?" She asked dumbly (as for once, she was at a loss of words). 

"Will you be better for me Remus?" He repeated and she felt herself lose her remaining strength in her knees as she finally put together the pieces of the puzzle. He had leaned in close, she could still feel the wood of the door scrape against her uniform. 

"When you first told me in the hospital room that your ability didn't work on me... I was too tired and too... vulnerable to realize just how it was that you knew I was immune. But then I remembered." 

"Remus..." she whispered. 

"No," he said. "So as I said, you don't care about me; you want to possess me. But I won't be easily manipulated by you Gōrudo— not anymore." 

"Please... you have to understand... It takes over me... it's like there's two of me." 

"Oh bloody hell!" He exclaimed, his fist knocking into the harsh wood behind her— she didn't even flinch. His face was closer now and she could better see the anger and pain in his eyes. "You acted the same when you grabbed Slughorn... and when you grabbed me. I suppose that's because you view us the same." 

"No, don't say that Remus. You have to know it's not the same." 

"Is that so?" He snorted, his arm still pressed against the door behind her as he towered over her. She could see the anger swirling behind his hazel eyes. "So prove it then," he concluded. 

She could only stare back as he narrowed his eyes at her. 

"So be better for me then, Gōrudo," he stated calmly. Remus leaned back and Meisa found the strength to move as he opened the door and stepped out— not bothering to see if she was coming along before swinging the door shut behind him, leaving her alone in the dim room. 

Her eyes darted to the bottle labeled aconite and she found her fingers grasping the base— half tempted to shatter its contents. But she found herself pocketing it, and soon a few others. 

(she would be better— but not in the way he wanted her to be).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hey... hey... yeah so things between remus and Meisa arent looking too good.. damn i knew a lot of y'all were really favouring this ship too 🙈 the chemistry.. the flavour .... this is barely even a love triangle i think we all know who we ship haha... if only the author wasn’t a complete fucking sadist... wait a minute... I’m the author


	13. Chapter 13

There wasn't necessarily an air of cruelty in the detention room. The task at hand was clear; simply wipe down the crystal balls within the storage room. Meisa and Sirius were seated at two desks in the storage room, side by side facing the light brown wall illustrated by tiny moons and stars— if one were to pay close enough attention to the elegant wallpaper, the celestial objects would begin to dance and trap them in its depths. However placed before them were a crystal ball and a simple white cloth. Each of them would scrub the ball clean, and once the fine crystal was clear it would disappear and another would take its place.

The floating tally between them let them know that they still had 500 more to go (and she really was concerned by the fact the school owned over 500). 

"Don't fall behind now," she taunted Sirius. Meisa noticed his pace had gotten slower and slower as the task continued, his hands rubbing the ball for a good few minutes, somehow managing to avoid cleaning the actual smudges. 

"Huh?" He questioned before looking down at his hands. "Oh, I guess I lost focus," he replied softly. 

His behaviour caused Meisa to purse her lips to the side in confusion. He was odd this passed week— ever since the incident actually. She could only guess that behind closed doors, the group of boys weren't quite as friendly with one another as the rest of Hogwarts would believe. A part of her felt a sly satisfaction at the idea that she wasn't the only one on Remus' bad side— but a lesser part of herself felt guilty that she had a hand in shattering the bond of trust between the two. 

At that moment, it was both the satisfaction and the guilt that manifested and forced the next set of words out of her chest. 

"I'm guessing he's mad at you too," she said calmly. Her eyes were on the dancing moons and stars that displayed themselves across the dark wallpaper— refusing to meet his tired expression, although she could sense him still as the rubbing on his own crystal ball ceased. 

"Yeah," he said. "But I don't understand why he's so upset with you." She noted the perplexed tone in his voice which signalled to her his own ignorance and confusion regarding the matter. 

For a moment, she paused her movements as the weight of the glass ball left her hands and was soon replaced by another smudged ball. It donned on her then that Remus had kept her secret— and so to the marauders, his anger would seem strange and out of character. 

Her lip twitched at the idea that in spite of Remus' anger towards her, his loyalty and respect remained in tact (and in spite of her guilt, she knew just how to exploit that). 

Sirius Black would be the first step to prove herself— like Remus wanted her to, (but not in the way he would ever need to know). 

"I can't believe I'm having this talk with you Black, but I guess in order for you to understand my point, well— do you ever feel as if... You were made to be bad?" She bit her lip and waited in anticipation for his response. 

There was very little she knew of Sirius Black. He was loud, brash, annoying and a bit of a bully. Those were all shallow observations that absolutely anyone could come up with, but there was one factor that contradicted this all— Sirius Black, a pureblood Slytherin heir, was in house Gryffindor (and was proud of it)! 

"You're kidding right?" He scoffed, and Meisa turned to him and provided her best attempt at a look of confusion. At this expression, he furrowed his dark brows before speaking once more, "My family would bark like dogs and roll over for you know who, and meanwhile I'm out here fighting all those death eater wannabes over at your house. I was bred to be like that Malfoy prat, but I'll never be like him— or any one of them." 

"I guess I overlooked that..." she murmured gently before letting her eyes go downcast. 

"A lot of people do," he rolled his eyes before turning in his seat at face her properly. The crystal ball now forgotten on the table. "But what's that got to do with Moo— Remus being upset with you?" 

"You're just gonna hate me too... I— I'm no good, Black," she said as if she had lost herself (and internally she felt she lost her pride as well as she continued her act). 

"Hate you?" He inquired with a laugh, before allowing his demeanour to turn somber as he noticed that Meisa hadn't joined in, or scoffed at his humour. "Look... I might joke around about you being Slytherin's ice queen, but I know you're not like them— I know we've had some rough patches but you've always been kinda... I don't know... Noble?" 

"It's not that I'm like them in that way— I mean, I'm a half blood, so not like I've ever gotten the opportunity to get into their inner circle." At her words Sirius let out a small chuckle much to her confusion. 

"Trust me, Snape is a half-blood too, so the opportunity was there for you; you made a choice not to associate with the likes of them." 

"You don't have to comfort me—" (he really didn't) "— my issue wasn't with all that; I just mean sometimes I feel like the other bad qualities of Slytherin are there and that's why Remus hates me." Although there was an air of truth to her words; it was the feelings regarding the matter that were the lies weaved into the frameworks of the narrative she was desperately trying to create— she was no victim to ambition, and she would never hate those qualities because they were her. 

"He doesn't hate you Gōrudo, I don't think he ever could... But I still am not understanding exactly what it is you've done." 

Meisa let out a gentle sigh at this and closed her eyes, and for a moment she felt anxiety pushing from the pit of her stomach as she pursued this topic with Sirius— he was the key to proving to Remus that she cared (even if it came at the cost of trickery and deception). 

"My dad basically... Raised me to be a certain way, that it was okay to just use people so long as it was to benefit him; he was no Slytherin, he's a muggle afterall, but the mentality is very much Slytherin." She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the lie (she didn't need her powers to get ahead, her wit was enough). "I coaxed Snape into following you to the forbidden forest, sorry about that, and so that's why Remus ha— is angry with me." (No, that's not why— but she did at a time believe it was the truth... So that made it less of a lie; nonetheless it made sense to her to think this way). "I hate the fact that I'm basically turning into my father; I don't wish to be like him, but how can't I, when he's all I know?" 

"Wow Gōrudo," Sirius replied earnestly. "I had no idea... But I guess the fact that you're thinking this over and whatnot, it kind of goes to show that you're not like him at all." For a moment, Meisa felt satisfaction flood through her veins as Sirius fell right into her web of lies. Though part of her was also surprised by the fact that he seemed to accept her words so quickly. 

"You're.. You're not upset with me? I mean..." 

"We all do bad things," he paused for a moment. "I mean... I would know that better than anyone— and well I'm still very much responsible; even if you pushed it all down, I'm still the one who stacked the dominos in the first place." 

"I didn't know you could be so metaphorical."

"Yeah well... I guess the child endangerment has really made me rethink all my choices." He chuckled drily. "I guess mostly I just really understand where you're coming from; I spent my Hogwarts life trying to set myself apart from all the blood purity nonsense, Slytherin pride and all that rubbish just to start scheming as well... I betrayed Remus just to send a message to Snape— and I ended up breaking everyone's trust in the process." 

"I'm sure he'll forgive you in time," Meisa replied.

"But why would he? It's not like I have my perfect character evidence by my side— in case you haven't noticed Gōrudo, I'm a bit of a dick." 

"I've noticed," she snapped quickly. Her sudden intrusion caused the both to let out a laugh (and for a moment she forgot where she was going with all this). "Well... Maybe we can both prove him otherwise... Together." 

As she spoke, Sirius recovered from his laughter and widened his eyes at her words. "What do you mean?" 

"Well... We have the same problem I guess— we're both massive prats, and I feel like if we took all our energy and put it into something productive in order to help not only Remus, but ourselves as people... We could win him back." 

"What exactly do you mean by productive? I'm still unclear about this whole matter— I mean, we haven't ever really spoken this much before and I feel that's because we're forced to be here." 

Meisa only rolled her eyes at his words. She couldn't help but rub her thumb gently across the crystal ball which sat neglected in her hands. Her fingers shook slightly as they caressed the surface of the glass, due to Sirius' hesitation. "We help each other out, we become friends— and I guess act as a moral compass for each other. It'll show him that you're maturing and that I'm being more... open, I guess?" 

"I don't know..." 

"Really Black? What's the harm in trying to be friends with me, I mean it's better than squabbling over whatever annoyance of the week— and if Remus isn't convinced then we'll at least have ended our little feud."

"I see your side of things, but is it really so wise of us to get close? I mean since he hates us—"

"I thought you said he didn't hate me?" She questioned with a raised brow and a gentle quirk to her lip. 

"You get what I mean," he scoffed with an eye roll. "But given as to the fact that he dislikes us both currently, I feel pushing us together is just gonna piss him off— I mean I don't like peanut butter and maple syrup all that much, and imagining them together is perhaps one of the most vile things I can think of at the moment; makes things much worse." 

"I'm going to ignore what you just said Black, and propose this instead; we come to a truce, not because of Remus, not because we've both got a knack for being manipulative and shady—"

"I wouldn't say that—"

"— But in spite of all that, let's just simply act more civilized and tolerable not for us, but for everyone; I can imagine how annoying it is for others whenever we butt heads with one another." 

"Alright," he said. "Then I solemnly swear to honour this truce," he chuckled this as if remembering a joke that brought a look of nostalgia to his dark eyes. 

"I guess the first step is to call each other by name... No more formalities, Sirius." 

"Right back at you, Mei," he replied smoothly. The nickname caused a slight quiver to reach her lips, as she was brought back to Remus' own use of the endearment. 

"Just Meisa, is suitable, I wouldn't get too comfortable." Her words were almost harsh, but she made sure to add a smile to reassure him that she was speaking all in good fun (although she meant her words without a doubt). 

Though the words hung in the air as the door to the storage room slammed open abruptly, causing their twin tables to rattle at the intense force of it. Sirius immediately stood from his chair and faced the entrance whilst Meisa remained seated and turned her head to set just who had interrupted their settlement. 

"Ah yes Black, I suppose I wouldn't get too comfortable around Gōrudo either." The words hit the room drily as Meisa's eyes met the dim silver ones of Lucius Malfoy, who had an air of hostility surrounding him. 

(She could only hope the rage was because of something Sirius did).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: damn.. meisa such a shady bitch.. luv that for her, anyways i wonder what Malfoy wants ? why's he mad ? damn .. give this girl a break .. pls & also I’m sp fucking annoyed i had mf aesthetics to show off act 1 and 2 designed by my friend and ao3 isn’t letting me post pics... i am straight up not having a good time,, n e ways i picture Anna Sawai as Meisa tbh and Hunter Schafer as Pandora.... also ngl ik everyone pictures Andrew Garfield as Remus but low key my Remus i picture more as Robert Sheehan in The Mortal Instruments lol but idc everyone has their own imagination


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malfoy gets his shit rocked basically.

"What is it you want Malfoy?" Sirius demanded. The boy in question only stood smugly by the door before shutting it behind him and walking towards the angry Gryffindor. Meisa couldn't help but note how the slight shine of the wallpapers reflected stars onto Sirius' obsidian black hair. Her eyes flickered to Lucius as he slowly made his way over, his robes flowing behind him like cascading ink, the only colour on his figure being the silver and green tie and crest upon his torso that paralleled Meisa's own. 

"Hush up Black," Malfoy seethed. "I would never willingly sully myself with a blood traitor such as yourself; I'm here for Gōrudo." At his words Meisa couldn't help but lose the grip in her jaw in confusion. She stood up hesitantly then, and made sure to keep one of her hands concealed in her pocket— wrapped tightly around her wand (which she managed to fix with the aid of Madam Pompfrey). 

"Me? Sorry for my bewilderment Malfoy, but you and I are hardly friends." 

"Ah," he breathed before allowing a soft chuckle to rumble out of his chest. His steel grey eyes were trained on the floor before him as he shook his head allowing pale blonde waves to shake with it. "Well most would say the same about you and Severus, but alas, it appears you two are closer than one would believe? After all, you two did have a little moonlight rendez-vous together, tell me how did that work out?" 

Meisa could feel her blood run cold as he hissed his final question— what exactly did Lucius know? Though she kept up her calm demeanour as she placed her enclosed fist over her hip and leaned against her chair, her hand still wrapped around her wand. 

"I'm assuming you got the gist of the story from him already—" (or the one Dumbledore fabricated to protect Remus; a story Snape would be forced to tell). "—I overheard B— Sirius and Snape scheming and I convinced him to let me tag along because I was concerned about whatever trap Sirius was likely setting up for our fellow Slytherin, and we both walked into a dreadfully childish prank—"

"Well I wouldn't say childish," Sirius interrupted. 

Meisa only rolled her eyes before continuing the narrative. "Anyways, Sirius' own magic backfired on him causing Snape, Remus, and Sirius to land themselves in the hospital—as I would already know, Sirius has a knack for not knowing how to control his wand." The phantom pain of a long since faded scar caused a shivering feeling to reach her cheek at the memory of a spell. From the corner of her eye she could see Sirius lowering his head at her words— likely feeling guilt over his chaotic actions that had occurred upon their first interactions. Part of her knew she should feel guilt for bringing up the past in such a way (but she couldn't find it in herself to care anymore). 

"Lines up with Severus' story I'll admit," Malfoy offered with a bored tone before straightening up and turning his head to the side arrogantly. "But the real question is... So why are you in detention Gōrudo? Isn't it just Black and Lupin at fault?" For once Meisa didn't know what to say— he had a point, and Dumbledore hadn't thought things out far enough. 

"What are you, a royal git? Snape and Remus were knocked out cold and injured beyond measure and were in that dingy hospital for a week whilst Meisa and I were fine and camped out in the woods all night with only minor injury— we're in detention because of curfew and the fact that she and I, boy and girl, man and serpentess, were alone together all night." At his words, Meisa sharply turned her head towards him knowing a blush was painting her cheeks a rosy hue due to the implication of his words.

"You expect me to believe that story, Black? That you two are in detention because the school thought you were, dare I say it— shagging?" 

"Well Malfoy," Sirius chirped. "Given the fact that you look like a bleached rat, and my dear cousin is an air headed prude I understand why it is that you'd be unaware of Hogwarts' punishment towards fornication especially in the middle of the night; as the Americans would say, this isn't my first rodeo, so you can see that when it comes to understanding the logistics behind what's punished and what passes in this school, well I would know." His words were slow at first but gradually quickened its pace. To any non-suspecting being, they would simply see it as growing irritation or perhaps nerves, but Meisa knew better than that. She watched in anticipation as Lucius' face scrunched up in anger.

Everyone knew for every ounce of craftiness in Lucius Malfoy came rage and arrogance, and Sirius triggered it as easily as sliding his hand through his locks. 

"Do you think you're funny, Black?" Malfoy questioned through clenched teeth and took a step forward as if to intimidate the opposing boy.

"Well," Sirius paused as if to reflect. Dramatically he stroked his chin with his pointer and index and stared longingly at the ceiling before coming to his supposed conclusion. "I think personality wise, I'm rather funny, but in terms of looks I think you have me beat." 

"You're a child," Malfoy seethed.

"I was always meaning to ask but well... The albinism your family seems to have, is it the result of incest or does being so bothersome and annoying just drain all the colour out of your roots?" 

The argument had turned pointless and petty, and normally Meisa would have tuned out Black's childish behaviour, however she couldn't help but feel that was his goal all along. It was as if his brutish and snobby words were crafted as a means to distract Malfoy from his objective and instead have his attention on Sirius' incessant attitude. 

The method was sloppy and a bit childish, but to others it seemed perfectly in tune with Sirius' character and so the manipulative quality of it would go unnoticed by most who would dare to underestimate him (and for once, Meisa did not). It donned on her then that although he did not pride himself in the qualities of Slytherin that was buried deep inside the Black clan; Sirius still inherited the subtle traits, even if he wished to deny it.

"Is that your idea of family, Black? Has your mind grown so twisted and sick since abandoning yours that you only live by ridiculing the twenty-eight?" Meisa bit her lower lip at this term. The Sacred Twenty-Eight was the title bestowed upon all the pure-blood families that were deemed to have unsullied blood. Meisa was already well aware of Sirius' own family being a part of such pretentious practice but she was unsure of what Malfoy meant by abandoning. 

It was as if something had shifted in Sirius at Malfoy's words. Meisa felt her hand loosen from its tight hold around her wand as she watched the Gryffindor take a few quick steps until he was face to face with the Slytherin. "I live by ridiculing you? You— and the rest of that lot live by ridiculing the rest of the bloody world! Blood purity means nothing and the mindset is just there to make you all feel special when you're just a bunch of snobby inbred hicks." His final words were added with a final shove of his hands and Malfoy was left stumbling backwards for a brief moment before quickly regaining his balance. 

"You know nothing about family, Black," Malfoy stated, suddenly calm in spite of the fury laced into his tone. "If it weren't for that stupid betrothal to Narcissa my family would've already cut ties the moment that hat breathed the name Gryffindor atop your slimy head." 

"I suppose your family knows all about cutting ties, now don't they Malfoy? Say.. How is your cousin Pandora doing?" Sirius chuckled with a sly quirk to his brow. It was then that Meisa put the pieces together remembering Pandora's meek voice in the back of her skull. 'It could be worse, I could be like...' Her voice had trailed off leaving an ache in the palms of Meisa's hands whenever she would think back to it. 

Sirius. Sirius Black was the name that had been whispered from the lips of Pandora silently so only her own thoughts could hear it. 

"Don't say that repulsive—" Meisa suddenly felt the familiar itching feeling return to her palms as she took her hand slowly out of her pocket and stretched her fingers shakily. "— name around me! They made their choice, just like you. But they have each other; while you're alone. You left your mother, your father and your snot nosed brother and you have nothing to show for it other than the fact that you spend your days lazing about in a detention room." 

In a sick turn of events, it donned on her how Sirius' deflection of the initial issue turned into a whole new problem. She wanted to intervene because of the fact things kept getting worse for the two (but also because they still had a lot of cleaning to do)! She only let out a sigh as Malfoy and Sirius stared down one another, though in Sirius' anger his eyes didn't catch the fact that Lucius' right hand was reaching for the wand faintly concealed in his pocket. Meisa watched as Malfoy steadily began to pull the instrument, and that was when she knew she had to do something. 

Though much to her irritation most of his skin was concealed by his robes and so it left only his face and neck, but rather than embarrass herself in such a manner she chose her next steps carefully. Hurriedly she walked over to the heaving boy and pulled his necktie down and before he could protest she poked her finger in the centre of his forehead and watched as his beady silver eyes glazed over like honey. 

"You're being childish," she spoke sternly. She repeatedly tapped his forehead as if scolding him and continued. "Just leave this room and learn to be nicer okay, not just to Sirius but to Pandora as well. Now run along before I call in a professor." Her last comment was there more so to provide reason to Sirius as to why Malfoy would recoil all his harsh words. 

For a few seconds, Lucius only stared at Meisa with an almost awe stricken expression before straightening his back and clenching his jaw harshly. It was then that the silver haired Slytherin shook his head slowly while muttering under his breath before turning and walking away towards the door, as she watched she could see Sirius furrow his brows as if confused to his sudden change. Though the expression was suddenly replaced with contentment as he watched as Lucius exited the detention room with a slam to the door. 

"How in the bloody hell did you manage to do that?" Sirius questioned with a light hearted laugh. "The lad looked so afraid of you!" Meisa only smiled mischievously although part of her wanted to relay the fact that it certainly wasn't fear that painted the slackened expression of Lucius Malfoy (but she supposed fear and devotion could be easily interchangeable for one another given the right circumstances). 

"I've gotten used to his antics over the years," she said. "It comes with the price of having to share a common room— I guess something in him knew it wasn't wise to carry on arguing like he was."

"Who knew the ice queen of Slytherin could take out the royal rat with just a wag of her fingernail," he sighed before walking back to lean against the back of his chair. "Must've been your evil eye, I swear you could turn a man to stone with that glare of yours."

"So how many times do you plan to compare me to things, Black? Serpentess, Ice queen and now Medusa?" She rolled her eyes playfully but still kept an air of caution around him (after all, he had just witnessed her powers and didn't appear to be none the wiser). 

"Oi," he barked. "That's Sirius to you."

"I don't how it's any more serious to me or you, but alright Black." His eyes widened for a moment before he let out a snort at her (bad) attempt at a pun. His head was bent which allowed for his hair to act as a shield a she watched him laugh his head off. Though part of her suspected it was more so to calm himself down after the heated argument he endured rather than due to the quality of the (once again, shitty) pun. 

"I'm sorry by the way," she said as he finally calmed down from his laughter. He had whipped his back to once again lean against the chair rather than hunch behind it, and she could spot the lights from the wallpaper reflecting stars into his dark eyes. "Your argument with Malfoy... I think I heard more than what you would've wanted me to... I had no idea that your family... um kicked you out."

"That's because they didn't," 

It was Meisa's turn to look at Sirius in confusion as she waited for him to elaborate on his words. Meisa watched as he licked his lips and ran a hand through his silky hair, she couldn't help but notice that his gold and red tie had turned crooked likely due to the argument that had only ensued just a few minutes ago. 

"I chose to leave," he told her. "Malfoy's been holding that over my head as if I slapped my mother or something— which she kinda deserves for being a pure blood loon, but that's my mum. I just packed up my things and now over the summer I live with James and his family."

"Oh," she cursed herself for not knowing what to say. She just wasn't used to seeing a serious side to Sirius, let alone a vulnerable one. 

"It's okay," he said. "You don't have to comfort me or whatever. I moved out a couple years ago so I'm basically over it." In spite of his words, and the attempt at a smile he tried to throw her way she couldn't believe him. There was something about the stars and moons that reflected into his eyes that made her see something lurking in the murky pools of black, and her hands itched to uncover it.

But she held back.

"I guess we both have our experiences with shitty parents," she told him (and her words were honest this time). 

"I guess we do," he sighed. 

(And for once, she let her curiosity simmer— but only for now).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I intended something different for this chapter so there's been a drastic change so I'm sorry if the flow seems bad... I'll get back to editing it once this book is complete ig // please remember to leave a kudos if u already haven’t & comment bc I have no self value ! Luv y'all


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meisa can’t be cool, calm and collected all the time— I mean, I guess I could do that but I’d rather not have folks seething in my comments about another Mary Sue lead RIP... jk i love everyone

"So how's detention going?" The inquiry from Pandora was as sudden as it was irritating for Meisa as she simply rolled her eyes before slicing into her steak. A day had passed since her confrontation with Malfoy, and to be frank, Meisa was quite certain she had used her powers more in the last month than she had her whole life (or maybe not— she was one to exaggerate). The two had only just sat down for dinner after a long day of lectures and writing. Nothing seemed too out of the mundane, for a wizarding school, however Meisa couldn't help but notice the sly grins her Professors seemed to have donned all day as if they knew something the general population did not— and it didn't sit right with her. 

"As well as any scenario can go involving Sirius Black and I alone together in a room," she replied in an airy voice. The blonde girl only quirked an eyebrow and opened her mouth to respond before shutting it quickly as a result of the narrowing of Meisa's eyes. "I regretted saying that the moment your eyes lit up," Meisa continued with a playful pout.

"You know how I love a good scandal Meisa," Pandora sighed. As she spoke, she set her utensils down before pushing her elbows onto the table and resting her sharp chin onto her palms. "You know, you had me quite fooled— I thought you and Remus were surely an item, but then I learnt that you spent the night with Black in the shrieking shack? I'm quite offended Mei, you clearly do not care to tell me anything about you."

The blonde's tone seemed to draw attention to them as Meisa couldn't help but feel eyes slyly turn to them out of curiousity— her escapade with Sirius had surely become the talk of their school (or perhaps just their grade, exaggerations once again)! Meisa harshly shushed the girl before putting her own fork and knife down, the sensations of the cool metals leaving her fingers void of touch. Meisa brought her fingers to the edge of the table in front of her, allowing her thumbs to trace over the sharp turn of the sturdy wood with her trimmed nails.

"I didn't tell you anything because there isn't anything to say; it's as simple as that. Besides, do you ever have anything to talk about other than boys? When have you become so love obsessed?" Meisa kept a brow quirked, as if in genuine wonder at the blonde's sudden interest in Meisa's love life (or reverse harem). Though Meisa could only feign her ignorance as she was well aware that Pandora's sudden interest in the romance was due to the ever annoying presence of Xenophilius Lovegood. A good resolve to any inquiry was to turn the attention away from one self, and onto the curious speaker— Meisa learnt this at an early age.

Pandora only pouted in playful irritation. 

"Well," she began, with the nerve to look bashful. "I've just been so happy with Philly, and to be frank, I just want to see the same for you— you're always so gloomy and introverted. I know your mysophobia was the main thing holding you back, but I noticed you stopped wearing your gloves so surely you have been making progress recently?" The last few words Pandora spoke grew higher in pitch as her eyes traced over Meisa's typically stoic visage which was morphing slowly into a disgruntled look.

"I don't need a man to be happy," she said slowly.

"That's correct, you need two." 

"Maybe you should focus on yourself and your dear... Philly?" Meisa pursed her lips at the silly nickname as it tumbled out of her lips. The blonde Slytherin could only blush, red filling her cheeks quickly, as words began to slip out her mouth to explain herself but Meisa could only giggle at her friend's struggle. Though the laughter may have been a bit forced, she couldn't help but feel a childish pettiness grow in the pit of her stomach at the thought of Pandora and Xenophilius. It wasn't necessarily a jealousy that bloomed, but a sense of possessiveness she couldn't help but feel over the charismatic blonde. Her thumb, still brushing against the wood of the table, made a small scraping sound as it began to scratch at the furnish. Its fine polished coat scraping off suddenly with the push of her mere thumb as a feigned giggle escaped her lips, covering up the stress of the table from an embarrassed Pandora. 

Though the laughter from the both of them soon came short lived as a tall figure came behind Pandora. Meisa's smile instantaneously disappeared as the shadow of Lucius Malfoy casted over Pandora, causing the girl to turn around in confusion. Meisa could only purse her lips and watch as his silver eyes locked onto his cousin's. 

"Lucius," she said softly. "May you tell us the reason why you have chosen to grace us with your presence?" Meisa was unable to see Pandora's face as she spoke as the blonde had turned in her seat to face the lanky boy in question. Though she could hear the slightly nervous tremor she attempted to mask with an air of coolness. Feeling as if she were being nosy into their family affairs, Meisa shifted her gaze to the table around her and remembered just where they were as she spotted countless eyes slyly attempting to view the scene displayed for them, some students even seemingly trying to slow their eating so that they wouldn't miss the rare interaction over the sound of their own obnoxious chewing. It seemed as though all of house Slytherin was aware of Pandora having been ex-communicated from Lucius and his clan.

"I just wanted to check up on you," he replied with his eyes suddenly turned downcast. Meisa froze at the quiet tone in his voice and moved to watch him, noticing that his thumb seemed to be playing with his Slytherin ring absentmindedly. His words had seemed to bring a wave of shock to Pandora as well as she rearranged herself properly to have a better look at the boy.

"Why exactly is that?" Pandora questioned, genuine confusion lacing her usual cheerful tone.

"I—" he began, as if unsure, "I don't know, I just felt that I should be nicer to you, that's all." 

Meisa couldn't help but feel her lips move to mouth a silent 'oh' at the boy's strange confession. Her mind returned to their interaction in the detention room when she had used her abilities out of anger to silence the prat of a male. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as the boy then made eye contact with her, a (dreadfully) familiar look of longing painted his features as his steel eyes met her brown ones before he turned on his heel and walked out of the lunchroom. 

Pandora turned back around in her seat with widened eyes, and for a moment Meisa was worried for the girl's mental health before a wide grin graced her lips— much to Meisa's own confusion. Pandora shifted her eyes to the plate in front of her as if she couldn't process what had just occurred before bringing her attention to Meisa, her grin still attached to her thin pink lips.

"Xenophilius' charm worked," the blonde said— and in a crushing moment, Meisa felt her chest deflat. "I didn't believe him at first, but look see—" the girl reached by her collar and pulled out a dreadfully tacky rune attached to a leather cord around her neck. "— He told me this necklace would be sure to give me good fortune this week, and what do you know! My ex cousin suddenly has a change of heart." Meisa felt her thumb scratch against the wood of the table harshly as the optimistic blonde raved over her boyfriend (for what she had done for her)! 

She smiled however, as her friend continued to babble on about the superstitious Ravenclaw. Though as she could hear Pandora's explanation, she couldn't bring herself to listen as her ears seemed to go static whilst her eyes lingered on the way Pandora animatedly moved her hands around to speak. The pale bare skin dancing like flames in the air as her usually contagious smile grew. Meisa barely even noticed her hand move up towards the girl's flailing hands until the smile was wiped clean off Pandora's face. 

"Oh Meisa," she said in a worried voice. "Your thumb is bleeding, are you alright?" Meisa only blinked before she turned her eyes to stare at her right hand which in fact had blood pouring from her thumb and down her palm in a zig zag line. Meisa watched as the liquid trailed down her wrist before shaking her head and abruptly standing to leave.

"I didn't even notice," she said absentmindedly. "I'll head over to Madame Pompfrey to get a band aid."

☼

Her walk back from the infirmary room was slow as the bell still hadn't rung and so Meisa found herself in no rush to get to her next class. The cut hadn't been deep, but an annoying splinter was what caught Madame Pompfrey's interest— as she insisted upon taking it out the muggle way for some odd reason unknown to the girl. She sighed as she marched with no vigour to her step, as she finally found herself outside her classroom— much to her dissatisfaction (as it seemed her day was filled with bitter coincidences), Remus was the only other student outside the hall. His tall body was next to her door, much to her own interest as she knew his class was directly across the hall. 

A part of her felt as if he chose to loiter by her door just to see her, but another (and much more rational) part of her felt this was the start of another confrontation between the two. Nervously she placed her injured hand into her pocket as if to conceal her weakness, but then she silently scoffed before taking it out. She was unsure what had come over her just then, but the idea of Remus seeing her bleed didn't sit well in her chest— but she supposed to admit and succumb to that would be a sign of weakness in its own right. 

"Hello Remus," she greeted civilly. The lanky boy only narrowed his hazel eyes before shifting to lean against the wall next to the shut door of the classroom, Meisa stood on its opposite side and faced him with a masked look of indifference. For a gut wrenching moment she assumed he wouldn't reply and simply continue his narrowed glare, and with that thought she felt her confidence shift just the slightest. 

"Hello Gōrudo," he replied curtly. She smiled— although his pessimism shone through, she still felt that there was that tiny flicker of hope which suggested that perhaps his anger wouldn't last as long as he would hope it would. 

She turned her attention to the floor, twirling her fingers against the wall. A shameful part of her hoped that he would notice the bandage on her thumb and inquire into it (rather embarrassing, but it seemed she couldn't make up her mind). The corner of her lip stirred at the thought but she kept her eyes tied to the ground as if captivated by his ratty shoes. They both seemed to stand there in silence for a few moments, likely that the burden of having a late evening class took a toll on his already naturally tired demeanour. 

"Gōrudo," he stated. The sudden sound of his voice caused Meisa dart her eyes up at him curiously and she couldn't help but note how his curls had grown shaggier just the slightest bit over the past month since school had started. "I heard Malfoy seemed to have a change of heart today, you wouldn't seem to know anything about that would you?"

Malfoy. (Malfoy?) 

Meisa felt her jaw clench tightly as she fought back the familiar feeling that which stirred in her stomach from seeing Pandora's own smile (which was because of that Malfoy). A squeezing of her eye shifted her view every so slightly as a twitch worked its way onto her face. She couldn't wrap her head around it— to her it was simple; why was Lucius Malfoy worth caring about? Pandora's signature grin flashed through her mind again whilst her injured hand clenched itself into a fist. 

"Yes," she replied before she could even think it over. "I rather think he's improved today."

"That's not your call to make Me—Gōrudo," he attempted to say, but she only found herself distracted by the fact he held himself back from saying her name as if it were some sort of hex. 

She remembered his anger then, and felt her own fizzle down (but only just enough for her to think rationally). She scoffed and looked to the floor before staring him back in the eye once more. 

"You're right," she said. "It's not, but I think one day of good deeds from that prick may not be my call to make, but it sure did feel like the right one since I only did it to keep him off from finding out about your furry problem." 

(Or perhaps it hadn't fizzled down at all— oops). 

"You don't have to—"

"Protect you? Is that what you were going to say Remus?" She laughed bitterly before continuing, with his hallow eyes staring right through her. "Sorry if my way of caring is so awful; I'm just doing what you said— proving I can be better." 

"Don't twist my words, Gōrudo," he scolded. "You very well know what I meant." She only rolled her eyes at his words before taking a step closer, noticing his lanky form tense up as if she were a threat. 

"I'm not twisting anything," she said. "You said be better and I'm doing it in the only way I know how, why can't you be happy?" 

His expression shifted to one of near repulsion and for a moment she thought that perhaps she was nothing more than a serpent caught under the shade. His jaw flexed and his mouth opened but then closed as if he was at a loss for words— but then he spoke calmly. 

"How can I be happy knowing that you're controlling everyone around you? People have free will. When I said do better I... I never meant this, people aren't puppets you can just control out of self interest." His words to the end tumbled out his mouth at a quick pace as if he was grasping for the right words to tell her, to articulate in a way she would understand. 

"Don't be so naive," she snapped harshly. "Self interest fuels everyone— only a fool would believe in noble causes."

"Careful Gōrudo," he warned. "That's Slytherin rhetoric."

Meisa could only scoff at his words. Never before had she hated the foolish system that sorted everyone in Hogwarts based on their personality— which barely had anything to do with their morality. "If your only comeback to what I have to say is to bring up some stupid house meant to boost the competition in the school then I am incapable of taking anything of what you have to say serious, Lupin." Her words spat out in anger, and much to her annoyance, the use of his surname didn't appear to have a physical reaction over him (unlike it would to herself). "People are complex," she began a sudden calm entering her voice as she uncurled her fingers. "I know that better than anyone, so I'm not going to stand here and listen to you dumb me down to fit into your cookie cutter fit for what it takes to be a decent person."

"You're trying to shift the argument," he said with a narrow of his eyes.

"Oh," she said in faux shock. "Must be the Slytherin in me."

"You know that's not what I meant," he replied with a roll of his eyes. Remus shifted on his feet and stood straight as if he were preparing to leave. Meisa hadn't even noticed the sound of others entering the hall, eager chatter booming through the area successfully covering their argument from prying ears. "Don't pretend that you don't understand my caution Meisa; I can see where your heart is but sometimes you can't allow that to lead you." He turned his back and walked off, but before he could get far Meisa took a step forward and gripped onto his wrist tightly. He paused in his movements and she could feel his arm flex faintly with caution.

"Don't ever mistake it for my heart," she said solemnly. With internal hesitance her hand loosened its grip from his warmth before falling to her side. She didn't face him as he continued to walk over to his own classroom instead her eyes were trained to the floor as the corner of lip twitched slightly into a hollow smirk of satisfaction.

He had slipped up, and hadn't even realized it— that was a start.

("Meisa").

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so this is a trainwreck of a story but idc. 5 more chapters and the story will enter act 3 which may or may not be the final act depending on how things go (i have up to chapter 26 planned out so far but im thinking i might include a 4th mini act to tie up some loose ends that are pissing me off. Anyways I'm gonna lead with a spoiler— a kiss scene is coming up, i wont say if its in this act or the next but its gonna be a fun one... who do u think its gonna be ??
> 
> Remus 
> 
> Sirius
> 
> Also pls feel free to leave a kudos if u haven’t and comment because its the only way i feel validated ! Also feel free to comment theories and stuff :p

**Author's Note:**

> She was gold, and everything she touched turned to ruin.


End file.
